Sunday, May 28, 2017

update from mr. slow and awful

Yes, I have to see exactly when my parents want to have dinner ready.  I am still not totally in agreement of us all being there for a dinner when I'm not over and done with things here but I do understand.  I'm just really worried something is going to get messed up, esp if my sister is there.  I've been such a worried mess.
So hard to get to the laptop on weekends but even though it's almost 2 am again, I managed to get to it.
I feel like there is so much that I am forgetting to catch up with or talk about and can never think of it.
yeah the games and movies have piled up and I can't even get to them myself because of time or tables or just not being with someone who has interest in them.  It gives me a small depression seeing them all stack up and how it used to be such a happy part of my life and I just see them growing and my pleasure in them dwindling because of my emotions.
E3 is coming up next month where the big companies (microsoft, sony, nintendo) show off all the upcoming games and stuff and I"m really excited.  I am hoping to see some resident evil 2 remake footage, spiderman game, and anything else that makes me so glad to be a gamer.
oh and marvel vs capcom infinte because ahhhhh
I would love for my store or some kind of thing like that was my job, even a youtube show or whatever but I was very happy doing tables and being home all day.  I catch up on podcasts and shows and don't have to get up early or be anywhere and ah I loved it.  But the coffee tables have slowed to the point where I think I need to switch out products completely after a time to keep it fresh and offer new things.
The credit card debt being paid off would really help aleviate so much and also take out the need for a second job which would free up more free time.
I haven't drawn anything in so long that I'm worried I won't still have it and it gives me such doubts about maniac mansion too.  But I still have a lot of faith and hope in that movie that it'll at least get noticed on websites because of what it's based on.
I am glad to hear that no matter how bad or scary or unsure or worried or anything things aren't going anywhere.
There was a bit of a falling out between me and Jeff that I have been thinking about because when I was having relationship troubles here, she spoke with him and he said I wasn't ever really stable and have a lot of problems and that he talked to you a lot and you said that I was a constant downer and brought you down so much that it became a problem.  I'm not sure if any of that is true and don't remember a time when he spoke with you but it took me a little by surprise I guess.
fun stuff to end on
Did you know they are making a pitch perfect 3?
I hope you still held on to Luigi's mansion and banjo kazooie lol, those are rare expensive ones to find and replace lol
Remember when I got that weird rash on my thigh and had to lay on the floor watching tv with no pants on to help it lol
or that bug bite on my back shoulder that you had to pop.  "It's nothing, quit being a baby.....okay wow that's infected"
The thing I miss most that is going to be hard for me is going to Universal so much.  That was a way of life for us and anytime I think about any part of it, I have to hold back tears.
Since being here I've been to a comic con and saw Christopher Lloyd who played doc in back to the future, Malfoy, rob schneider, took a 3 day trip to NY and saw all the site and was on the top of rockafeller center, the NY nintendo store, saw Castiel......and the one thing that overtops it all is Universal.  Anytime a movie has that Universal opening I can't take it.
I know i've got more in me and a lot of it is books which are a bit hard to describe.
Getting a little tired and will def in any way I can get the info to you tomorrow about what's up, I promise.
Here are some teases for some Disney Infinty levels that I have, but haven't played yet cause i'm saving  :D

Star Wars Trilogy

Inside Out

Force Awakens

More to come?  lol
Have a great night and I will do everything in my power to get more info for you as soon as i can tomorrow!


  1. Ok so in our usual format hard stuf first lol. I never liked Jeff even though I never really knew him there was always something that felt off with him I don't know why he would say I talked to him because I didn't. The last time I even saw him in person was probably jr year of high school. I promise you I would never talk to your friend about our relationship and even if I needed someone to confide in it would be someone I knew not some one I've never talked to or hung out with.
    I'm glad we are doing this tonight. I know you want things to go a certain way but I think if your family sees that things are moving in a certain direction maybe it will help things. Just be honest with them and talk to them about how you would prefer they handle the situation. I think, and I don't mean this is be mean, but I think you something don't talk about things that are touchy subjects and then people respond how they think instead of how it really is. If that makes sense. Just have a little faith in your family and in me and talk to us. Tell us your game plan and ask them to handle it or not handle it the way you want. Don't just tip toe around the subject and hope they act the way you want them to that way thing have a lesser chance of getting messed up.
    Ok fun stuff now ☺️ I finally watched the recap marvel YouTube videos that you sent and it was a really good overview! I remember all of them now lol they still blur together a little bit I'm ready for phase 3! lol I also watched the infinity and they look like so much fun! I can't wait to play all of them!
    I did hear about pitch perfect 3 did you see the second one? It was pretty good the first one was better lol. I still have all the games and movies I had before I'd never get rid of them just haven't played them.
    lol I do remember the rash and the thing on your shoulder I'm sorry I didn't believe you but we took care of it lol. I will always take care of you darling! I can't wait to see you tonight I know I know you aren't sure which I gotta say stings a little but I'm excited just to see you and talk.
    Let me know where and when ❤️

  2. Have a quick second to type but I am going to try and shoot for a 630 leaving of my house, it's not concrete but at least I know it'll be around there. I'm so nervous and i don't know why. Stomach pains all day lol
    Hope your day goes well though!

  3. THere is a chance it could be 7 or slightly after, just wanting to make sure the bases are covered and nobody is angry or upset, i can go behind your house to the alley. I won't keep anyone waiting forever i promise.

  4. Ok let's say 7 I'll let your mom know too. I'm nervous too lol it's like a first date or something.

  5. Went to lay down to go to bed and realized there's just no flipping way I'm going to sleep tonight without writing something. So here I am lol. I thought tonight could not have possibly gone better (other than the phone call) but yeah laughing and talking and the walk. Everything was amazing. I'm so glad I got to see you. I hope it wasn't too much to deal with when you got home. I don't know why if you guys aren't together she still needs to be tracking you or needs reassurance from you. And that's what scares me. I feel it in my whole being that this is right everything feels right and good. I am yours and you are mine (I'm totally keeping that line lol) I just want it to ring true in every sense of the word. I know a lot of bad talk on the walk and I'm sorry I still need reassurance I do understand and I am trying but I'm jealous and sad still. ill really try to not be so pushy tomorrow and then I'll be in Florida for a few weeks. I know this needs to be on your time and I don't want to push anymore so for now we can put a pin in it. Alright I'm off to bed and I'm sure there will be some dreams to follow lol. Goodnight my darling ❤️

  6. finally made it home. I have until 8:15 and a call to answer for her break at 7 but other than that, i'm home. I'd like to show you the disney infinity figures real quick, i don't want you uncomfortable though. We could even just hang out on the porch too. I have to wrap up a finished nintendo table to ship out tomorrow but that's about it.
    and i want to thank you for putting that pin in it. If I didn't have anxiety issues or certain ways I wanted to do things I wouldn't but I promise I see the future the same as you.

  7. I'm outside I rang the doorbell but nothing

  8. Well that worked out perfectly didn't it? As you can prob tell, I fell asleep first only to be woken up to eat pasta and watch a dogs purpose. Pretty sad but ultimately happy movie and now I have to be up in like four hours. Woohoo
    Not much left before I fall asleep again but just wanted to have some kind of post. A much better one will be tomorrow. Hope you liked seeing all my stuff and the disney infinity too, really be careful driving back and update to let me know you're okay and safe. have a great night!

  9. Good morning my darlin! I assumed you would fall asleep lol it's all good I got some laundry done and tried to go to bed early last night for the drive today. I'm gettting ready for my last interview I'm hoping I get good news before Friday about a job. I am not looking forward to this drive today but it's worth it in the end if I get you lol. I was awoken many times by dreams of yesterday ... good dreams ☺️. I did really enjoy going through your infinity characters and your movies and books! I am excited to have a chance to play and go through everything! I don't know if I could watch that movie I've avoided on purpose you know how I feel about animals getting hurt. But I have heard that it's a good movie. Oh and Jamie is getting rid of a class cabinet one of those tall display types she's going to leave it here if we want it. I thought maybe you could use it for something if not no biggie. Ok I'm off to my last interview fingers crossed something pulls through. I'll post more later to update you on my journey ❤️

  10. Made it to West Virginia have I ever stressed just how much I hate this state lol. I should be in a little after midnight. It's raining pretty hard which would be wonderful if I wasn't driving in it. You know that's the day I'm looking forward to most. Some lazy weekend day where we are laying around watching movies or playing a game or you drawing while I read and listening to the rain outside. Then we can make love and fall asleep wrapped up in each other. Those small moments are the ones I miss the most. Anyways time to get back to driving. ❤️

  11. Another update lol I made it to North Carolina but apparently there is major construction so my gps tried to avoid it by taking me some backway and now I'm stuck in rush hour traffic in some hick town lol. It's looking like I'll be in around 1 am now so if you feel like streaming late I might actually get to see you! lol I'm sure you're tired but I figured I'd throw it out there. I hope you had a good day at work my darlin.

  12. I just wanted to check in real quick and let you know that I am reading and I really hope you make it back okay. I may stream later, I hope to. It may be that late lol

  13. Thank you for checking in even if it's quick it really helps ease my worries lol I'm about 5 hours away the drive is long but not bad. No more traffic after I got through that area. I hope you do stream tonight I really do miss watching you play

  14. Passed out once again, can't even remember what I even had on the tv before I went bye byes. BUT. I will be home around 6 today and can def stream then for like two hoursish. I started a little campaign in batman arkham knight where you play batgirl and work with robin and I'll be playing that. Hopefully you got in all safe and going to work isn't too tiring, I know it is for me lol
    Talk to you after work!

  15. As much as I wanted to watch you stream last night I came home and passed out myself lol. I got in around 1;30 jumped in the shower and was out lol. I should be home around 6ish so that will work good for tonight. I came in to work today to put in my notice and my manager all but kissed me when I walked in lol she said it was so crazy she's so thankful I'm back and I just couldn't do it. I feel so bad but I think I'm going to tell her on Monday. Ugh I hate this part. I really hope a job pulls through quickly I'm going to set up more interviews for the week I come home so hopefully there will only be a week or two gap if that. Still haven't heard from anyone that I met with this week but it's still early I guess. Getting nervous I just want all of this to work out. Seeing you was amazing but it only reminded me more of just how much I missed you. I want to give you everything you deserve. I want to be able to have a wonderful life together. I want you to be less stressed and free to focus on your art. i promise to do everything in my power to give you all of that and more. I hope your day goes fast I can't wait to watch you at batgirl lol!

  16. I don't know how I manage to stay awake at all for anything. Well, once again passed out asleep. Everyone was up late yet again. I'm glad I at least got to stream in the afternoon. This weekend is going to be annoying because we get off at the same time today and she is off all weekend and i'm not. So the posts and streams are difficult but I will honestly try my very best! I want to write a few more blog posts this weekend too and finish up batgirl so there is a lot to read and such. I'm running late for work so i'm sorry this is a little short but I always want to make sure i put something here for you! TTYL ahhhh

  17. Again thank you for posting something and not leaving me hang lol. I'm kinda freaking out a little right now about giving my two weeks without another job and with her still living there. I want you more than anything else in this world I'm just so scared but Monday will be the big day. I'm going to just do it (she said in emperor palpatine'a voice lol) so two weeks from tomorrow I'll be there and you have until Monday to change your mind about us lol. I want you to be as sure as I am. Cause this is it for me.
    I hope I get to see you stream some more but I'll be at my parents all weekend. In fact I'm thinking about moving there for the next two weeks so that I can save rent money. Marianne made it very clear that I would still be paying a half a months rent lol. So if I move that's a little bit of money in my pocket just in case.
    I am so ready for this part to be over. I want a job and to be living with you and kiss your face whenever I want to lol. Once this part is over and I have you I will do everything in my power to make you happy every day. No more hiding no more bad feelings no more sadness. Just happy times of sharing interests and laughing and and and and lol. I'm ready to give this my all darling. And to help you get healthy not that being tired all the time doesn't sound like fun but I think we can help you feel better.
    I hope your day goes fast and your weekend isn't too bad. Again if you can stream I won't comment until you comment first just invade you had some time this weekend ❤️

  18. Dunno if you'll be up but i'm going to shave and take a super duper quick shower and then try streaming. It's late but I"m gonna try. Shouldn't be more than 15 mins.

  19. :-( I went to bed like 20 mins before you posted this. I'm moving into my parents place later today so late night streaming is going to be hard for me. That really sucks I would have loved to watch you some more.

  20. Another morning and I have some time here to type before the work day. I'm sorry late night streaming will be bad now, I don't want you to be angry with me. I will keep trying to stream anyways any chance I have, even if you are only able to just watch somehow. It's such a nice day and I have to close at work today, I'm starting to not want that job at all. It's in the way and takes my time and I'm losing so much interest in it. But I need the money. I really hope today goes well for you and doesn't contribute to more anger or anything. I will get back here the best I can tonight after work to hopefully share some cool nerdy stuff or whatevers. Have a fantastic day!!! ahhhhh

  21. Please stop thinking I'm angry with you I'm not I promise. I do want her to move out already lol but other than that issue everything else is perfect. I love you with my whole heart. I have the twitch app on my phone so I may still be able to watch here and there. So yes please keep streaming when you can. I'm packing up now to go to my parents and I hope these next two weeks go by fast. I'm sorry you're this unhappy with work. Like I said I really want to be able to do what I can financially so that you don't have to work at all hopefully within a week or two of me moving in you can quit half price books all together. Im still applying to 25+ jobs a day so hopefully something good will pull through fast. I hope you can post again tonight I need my cool nerdy fix lol. I love you darling dew drop. I am truly trying to be patient and understanding just a little scared sometimes never angry I promise. Hope your work day goes fast ❤️

  22. I'm so glad you aren't angry :D
    It's great that you have that twitch app at least so you can watch when I actually do stream. I have to work in a half hour and doing this real quick, I close so it'll be late again and last night was very late and i passed dead out.
    She was looking for places this morning and yesterday was saying how she needed her own place and wanted to start fresh alone so all seems to still be going good.
    It does suck to work at a place you used to love but working there kind of sucks it all away once you see it from a retail behind the curtain kind of angle.
    I need to do some sort of Nerd News with Edward update segment on here to keep you updated with it all lol
    Sorry i'm typing fast before i go.
    Dr. strange is on netflix lol
    Really hope tonight goes a lot better time wise but tomorrow will be back on the during the week schedule where i'm home here myself from 6-8:20.
    I shall do everything I can to do a real blog post tonight! Have a very great day and I hope the job hunting provides good results, ttyl!!!

  23. You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that she's still leaving. I can't wait for that day. I want you all to myself lol. I'm sorry you're losing interest at half price retail will definitely suck the life out of you. I had an email yesterday from another job so still pushing through.
    I'm looking forward to your nerdy updates they are my favorite lol I love how excited you get when talking about the thing you like. You should work on putting the movies and shows you want to watch in some sort of order so when we can start we won't have to spend hours debating over which to watch First lol.
    I haven't watch dr strange yet I have Netflix on my phone so I might be able to. Living with my parents is going to be difficult because they live in a studio condo so its one big room no bedrooms. So ill have to watch it on my phone but if they have the tv on I won't be able to hear it. Lol like I said I hope these next two weeks go fast. Tomorrow's the big day of giving notice at work so last chance to back out of this relationship. No changing your mind lol.
    I hope your day goes fast and you don't have to deal with too many people. Love you❤️ Can't wait for your update