At My Side Was The Sight of An Angel

Megels, when I would wake by your side
My feelings for you I could not hide
I touched your face in the morning light
Being with you just felt so right

You made me feel like I was a king
Like being inside of an awesome dream
Although it was real, that I knew
As the love that surrounded us continued to grow

I thought of what the future held
Marriage, children, us growing old
And as I laid there with you darlin
I was so glad you were mine, that you were there

Laying on the beach with you I would day dream
Pretend that I was on the sea
Sailing my boat over the waters
Praying that it would stay afloat

From dawn until dusk
And from dusk until dawn
I would search for you
As I drifted on

I would remember how I felt being lost at sea
Without you and traversing such rough waters
What happened after the biggest wave I couldn't recall
All I knew was that I had to find you

When I awoke I thought I had died
Because next to me at my side
Was the sight of an angel
The most beautiful woman I had ever seen

But lucky for me
I wasn't dead, not even close
For I had found love
And that love was you, darlin

Missing you and how life was
If I am being punished, I have learned my lessons
Pain and sadness should never carry this long
Your smile in the darkness
That is the beat of my heart

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxooxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I Never Want To Stop Waiting For You

Megels, anytime I am down
I think of your face
The one sight that reminds me of Heaven
You could calm my heart no matter what

Your lips, your eyes
Your soul
Are like a work of art
The most creative thing of all
Is your beautiful heart

If you were a painting
No colors could express
The beauty deep inside you
A rainbow, nothing less

If you were a sculpture
The clay could hardly make
Your figure of an angel
Without one mistake

If you were a eupony
No choir could really sing
All the beautiful music
Your eyes could possibly bring

So here I am, an artist
With inspiration beyond belief
But to capture such rare beauty
I'd have to be a thief

I want to create for you while you watch
Kiss you to taste what perfection tastes like
Hold you while we see the world's beauty
Get down on a knee to cement our adventure

I miss you so crazy much
I talk about you more than anything
I feel like my world is on hold
Until we pick ours back up

I'm not functioning well without you
I want to go to Universal with you again
Hold your hand at the end as we walk around the lake
Making fun of those coming in as we walk out

I put videos on that sound like the fountain outside our window
Open my ears and hope one day
I can hear you getting ready in the bathroom
Or playing Lego Potter in the next room

Fantasize about getting up to join you in the shower
Both of us in our purest most vulnerable states
The water running down our bodies as we kiss
Knowing I could see you the whole rest of the day

I don't have any other dreams without you
I bet he doesn't call you Megels, darlin, dew drop
Not the perfect complimentary match that we were
I never want to stop waiting for you
Because I have never believed in something this much
You are the burning in my heart
The love of my entire being

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxooxxooxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

As Long As My Heart Keeps Beating

Megels darlin
The most beautiful princess in the night
I searched the book of the cosmos for you
And there you were
My brightest star
A detailed flame of purest joy
That coalesced the heavens in extreme awe
The world is at your fingertips
And all the worlds and stars beyond
Tell me what you know of them
Do they shine from your essence
Or glow from the sight of your dramatic beauty
Do they travel the universe to be in unity with you
Do they wait for their cataclysmic fateful end
So that the shattering pieces that remain of them
May somehow find their way to the cradle of you
I wonder what miraculous wonders you hold inside
How you make me weak in the knees to gaze at you
Hanging high up there in the blissful night sky
How do you think the stars befell enviously
They all want to radiate the systems of galaxies
But you will be the one to teach them the way
As they will follow in your lead to perfection
It's when I come out late at night
When I feel all alone
I know you are there, Megels
Weightless over me
I know because my shortness of breath tells me
As my heart pounds rapid in my chest
And once again, you seduce me into a supernova
Stellar blaze of glory, luminescent sphere of light
From there to here is where you take me
As you have brightened all my ways of life
When the night arrives and brings with it all the stars
All I can think of is you
I miss you daily in ways that grip my heart
Your face, your smile, your voice
It's so painful to try and move through each day
Not without you
I can't bear to think you may never think of me at all
How happy and perfect we fit together
Two people who shared every interest and hobby
There's nobody I will ever want but you
As long as my heart keeps beating
I will always want you

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxooxxoxooxoxoxxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You Have My Heart Until Forever Dew Drop

Megels, the girl who I would tell stories to
The girl whose eyes I met at work
The eyes I saw before you turned the corner
I miss hearing your voice so much

I've never known a love like yours
Nor thought it could be true
But every time I kissed your lips
I felt what love could do

With hair like silk
And lips so tender
Each moment with you
Made my heart surrender

I couldn't live
I couldn't breathe
Without you by my side
Never will I let you go
My love will never hide

And in my heart you'll always be
From now until forever
No matter what
No matter where
I'll always hope we'll be together

I continue to feel like I cannot live
Every day it's getting harder to breathe
I want to spend our days together
Sharing in all the laughs we give one another

It won't be like how it would with us
With no shared interests it becomes a lonely place
He won't share in them with you but only for you
Don't repeat what happened in the past

Take my hand as we fly on our potter brooms
Fight with lightsabers and drive the Winchester car
Sing in the car at the top of our lungs
Please be my Ramona again

This scott will remain yours
No matter how long I have to wait
I want no other love than yours
You have my heart until the end of time

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoo

You're The Happiness Of My Life, Darlin

I would wake you up this day, Megels
By making you eggs and toast like I used to
Sharing a shower with you
Our naked wet bodies pressed together
Watch you sing to music as you got dressed
Kiss you goodbye as you left for work

Plan out a time to visit you for lunch
Bring you flowers and food
All excuses to kiss you again
Then vacuum the apartment and do the laundry
So when you got home it was just me and you
Food, movies, games, balcony smokes

You're the though that starts each of my mornings
The conclusion to all of my days
You are in all that I do, darlin
And everything i say

You're the smile on my face
The twinkle in my eye
The warmth inside of my heart
The fullness in my life

You're the hand that's entwined around mine
The coat upon my back
My friend and my love
My shoulder to lean on

You're my silly, mature, caring dew drop
Thoughtful, bright, and honest
I love to hold you tightly
Whether for smiles or a good cry

You're the twinkle in my eyes
The ever constant tingle in my soul
The voice that makes me weak
The happiness of my life

You are all I've ever wanted
You are all I will ever need
You are all I ever dream of
You are all to me

Just name what I have to do to be yours again
To wake up to your beautiful brown eyes
Spend the day holding your hand
Sharing in everything we enjoy
I want it all
Our adventure is all that's ever on my mind
All I will forever wait for
I miss you Megels

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxooxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxxo

I Can't Do This Without You, Turkey Leg

You and I are connected, Megels
In a way that goes beyond romance
Beyond friendship
Beyond what we've ever had before
It defied time and distance
And every change in our lives
It defied every explanation except one
Pure and simply
We are soul mates, darlin

I can't explain it or put it into words
I just feel it
It's there in the way my spirits lift
Whenever we talked
The sound of your voice just brings me home
In ways I can't explain
It's the delight I feel when we laugh
At exactly the same things
When I'm with you, Megels
It's like a tiny piece of the universe
Shifts into place
A place it's supposed to be
And all is right in the world

These things and so many more have made me understand
That this once in a lifetime forever connection
A connection that could only exist
Between you and me
And deep in my soul I know
I know that our relationship is a rare gift
One that brings us extraordinary happiness
All through our lives
There's nobody else I can truly call a soul mate

I miss that day you reached out
Wanted to hang out after Ellen had left
To see you again
I had just moved to a new home
You came in and we watched Lego Movie
It wasn't long before we were kissing
Making love
Going back to the zoo

I still remember what you wore that day
That black tube top accentuating your chest
You turned me on so much
That's when you asked me about moving with you
There's no way I could say no
Everything in me wants you to ask me again
So we can have our own place again
Two people who share all the same interests

Do you still look at our pictures
Think about what our life would be like
What we would be doing
How much more of a connection we would have
Our true selves
I would appreciate all of your gifts
Never take you fishing every single week
Do things with you and not for you

I miss you so much darlin
I can't do this without you
Wherever you are, I'll run to you
No matter what
My love is yours

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxxxxoxxoxoxxoxooxoxxoxooxoxoxoxoxo

I Don't Want Anyone Else Darlin

Megels, the beautiful nerdy girl
The girl who I cannot stop thinking about
Who makes my world turn
No matter how far away you are

You make me feel special
You make me feel brand new
You make me feel loved
With everything you do

You held me close when I was sad
I would wipe away the tears from your face
Every time we were together
It seemed like the most perfect of places

My eyes light up when you enter a room
I smile when we are together
No matter how bad things were
You always made them better

I love the ways you'd kiss me
The way you'd hold me tight
I love the way you would touch me
I loved being with you all night

I love the way you can always make me laugh
For absolutely no reason at all
I love how no matter what we would do
We would be there to catch each other when we fell

I want you to know, every single day
That even if we disagreed
I always loved you, darlin
And I continue to do so to this day
No matter what, day or night

I don't want anyone else
My mind and heart are constantly on you
Depression may have me in its grip
My future lonely with thoughts without you
But I will always sit waiting for you
A future without you is no future at all
I miss you Megels
You're worth any wait or struggle

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I Miss Our Days So Much, Darlin

I miss our days so much, Megels
The depression over our memories hits me hard
I wish and pray there were even a way to relive them
There are so many that I barely have energy to get up in the morning
I want to walk to your house again
See you on the porch scrolling through funny pictures
I want to share a bed with you again
Feeling you hold on to my body like a spider monkey
How we'd wake in the middle of the night to make love
I want to go to the zoo and comic cons with you again
Hear your voice singing in the car to Journey
I miss going to the store getting chili ingredients
Stocking our fridge with juice
Moving the magnetic letters to say naked man
What I would give to get a funny picture texted to me
Hear your voice in my ears telling me your day
It pains my heart to not have you call me before the weekend
Wanting to talk and hear my voice before you went to your parents
The many nights on facetime with you until you fell asleep
Holding your hand as we walked Universal
The many in jokes we had through the whole park
Just seeing your eyes in front of me
I am not capable of loving someone as much as I you
I would feel nothing at all for the rest of my life
To feel your hair, your skin just one more time
I continue to hold on to our blue box of memories
The letter you sent me that said how we shared all of our interests
How you always wished it was us
How you always looked at my blog and more every day
Still place out the sand you got me, potter souvenirs
The painting from Mexico
Every single little thing that is and came from you
So much I can't handle and want to share with you
I can't watch or even hear the Harry Potter music
Tough to play games or see certain shows
I have never met anyone as special as you, Megels
I would give the rest of the time of my life
To be on that beach one more time with you
Laying in the sand, holding hands
Peeking out of one eye at each other and smiling
I miss you darlin
So so so so so much
You worked your art
You spun a web around my heart
How beautifully your deeds have spread
Each intricately woven thread with strands of care
You dried my tears, your gentleness dispelled my fears
Your wisdom helped me understand
And patiently you held my hand to give me courage
To brave the storm with kindness you kept me warm
Your passion lit a glowing fire that filled my soul with sweet desire
You're all that I dream of
For the web you spun was made of love

I continue to hope that I can be yours again
No matter what it takes

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo

There Is No Better Future Than With You

Sweet Megels, darling of my heart
Hold my hand in this journey we start
Lift me up in spirit of joy and gladness
Shield my soul from heartbreak and sadness
Honest and true
I am here and will forever love you

It is my prayer that I will always be
The one who brings you joy
Sets your spirits free
With my love I'll cover you and warm your soul with mine
Give you pleasures
Like none you will find
Sweet Megels, song of my heart
I will love you forever, no matter what

So hear me beautiful Megels dew drop
Know in your soul
That there is no better future than with you
To grow old together
Endless caresses, touches and kisses
Our passion a banner of our love's true existence
My hand I extend and honor I offer
For being with you my love
There is no greater pleasure

Your hand I would accept
All of your love as well
My heart sings so loudly, all can tell
I am loved with you and in love with the woman for me
Hold my hand darlin, let us walk through this life
Being what we were meant to be
Together

Miss you like crazy little darlin
Went to a baby shower over the weekend
Made me even more depressed
It's something I want to share with you
The only person I've ever had that thought with
Every time I look up into the night sky
At every twinkling star
I see you and me
Smiling and achieving all of our shared dreams

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxooxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

I'm Day Dreaming of You, Darlin Dew

I'm sitting here gazing out the window
Instead of working
I'm day dreaming of you, Megels
And wondering if while you're in your own world
You're thinking of me too

I reminisce about the day we met
How you made me feel
Looking at the glowing smile on your face
Staring into your beautiful brown eyes
Your smell, touch
Your warm embrace
So many nights I can never forget

And now, I sit here feeling that warmth inside
Like nothing or no one else can make me feel
Butterflies
A constant smile
Happy thoughts
Looking forward to seeing you again

What lies ahead down the road of love
Could my hopes and dreams come true
All of my goals, dreams, passions
Glaring now before me with great anticipation

No one knows what tomorrow can bring
One can only wish and believe
I have faith that we will be brought together again
And bring you back into my life
There is a special bond between us
I constantly truly hope my future is with you

There's nobody I would rather spend my life with
Nobody that could ever replace you
Nobody that has ever made me feel true happiness
Nobody but you Megels
I'm truly dieing to see you again
I miss you so much

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxxooxooxoxoxoxoxxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo

When I First Looked Into Your Eyes

Have I told you lately
That I love you

Megels, darlin dew drop
When I first looked into your eyes

Those beautiful brown eyes
Sitting above the most delicious of lips

Each breath became a thousand sighs
My heart drummed out a thunder beat

I glowed with joy from head to feet
The hand of love had touched my soul

Just being near you I felt a powerful energy
I never wanted to keep my hands off you

My lips missed yours
Hands missed your body

As the bell of destiny began to toll
The tide of love began to rise

The world was filled with summer skies
My sodden clouds of cold and grey

Glowed with gold and then whisked away
A brilliant rainbow arched across

As waves of love began to toss
The air was filled with lovebird cries

When I first looked into your eyes
Those beautiful brown eyes of yours

When I first looked into your eyes, Megels
All time and space were paralyzed

Every moment we were together
I wished would never have ended

The first time I held you
I never felt two bodies connect so perfectly

And in that instant, I was shown
A universe I had never known

I dwell there still
In paradise

Missing you, every single day
Thinking about you, every single day

My everything misses you
There's nobody I would rather spend the rest of my life with

Nobody but you
Darlin dew

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxox

The Best Moments I've Felt In My Life

The most beautiful girl I've ever seen

Without any doubt in my mind

Is you Megels

Every romantic novel

Falling in love scene from every movie

It all played through my heart when I saw you

I gazed into your eyes

Such a beautiful earthy brown

My heart whispered to me

And that's right when I knew

The waves had ceased crashing

On the sand at our feet

Time had stopped passing

My search was complete

I finally discovered

What I'd known all along

A mystery uncovered

That just couldn't be wrong

It wasn't our first kiss

Nor the day that we met

But I realized something

I will never forget

With the stars shining brightly

From high up above

I'd use one word to describe it

That word

Is Love

I knew then these feelings

For my sweetheart were true

The woman of my dreams

My darlin dew drop

And my soulmate

Is You, Megels

I think of it every time

That I look at the stars

Every moment with you

Are the best moments I've felt in my life

I would give anything to be yours

I don't know how many beats

My heart has left in this life

But I want them all to be spend with you

Always

Love, Your Edward

xoxoxoxoxooxoooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You Are My Reason For Everything, Darlin

I used to dream of eyes so auburn
Loving arms to hold me
I used to dream of beautiful princesses
And how gracious they would be

I used to dream of how I wouldn't settle
For anything less than best
I used to dream of how we would majestically
Lay all fears to rest

I used to dream of fairy tales
How wondrous would they be
I used to dream of story books
All patterned after me

I used to dream a lot of things
But the moment I met you
I immediately stopped dreaming
Because all of my dreams came true

Being without you
All of my dreams are your face
The fairy tales turned into just one
No matter the situation or whatever the case

Megels you are where happily ever afters come from
I miss you ever day that I am awake
I've lost my way
Lost my lighthouse and am rowing in the dark at sea

I cry so much I'm out of wet tears
Throat scratchy from praying for forgiveness
Life around me is deafening with silence
My love for you as powerful as it has ever been

I will row until my arms give out
Until I am blinded by darkness
With your face on my mind darlin dew drop
I'll never stop rowing to you

You are my reason for everything

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxxxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo

For The Rest of Our Lives, Darlin Dew

You're the Cinderella of my dreams, Megels
Every time I sleep I dream of you
Any moment I'm awake I'm thinking of you
You are with me at all moments of my day

What beautiful dream permeates today
One where I can see you
I miss you so very much darlin
A most gorgeous dream in the most beautiful castle

You're standing on the stairs in a magnificent hall
Wearing the dress you bought for the ball
It's long and flowing, sparkling white
Your tiara of diamonds shine in the light

At the bottom of the stairs I'm waiting for you
You gracefully float down for all to see
I take your hand and touch your face
You're the only one I notice in the expansive space

We're now dancing in shadows of flickering light
Holding each other close
Holding each other tight
I kiss your neck and touch your face
Our lips kiss in a loving embrace

Time stands still while we are together
It feels so good
A moment that seemed like forever
I look at the clock thinking it can't be right
But the bells start to chime, confirming midnight

But there's no need to leave
From the ball tonight
I'll be with you my princess
For the rest of our lives

You're who I want to be with
Every second of my life
For the rest of my days
Until my last breath
My hand in yours, Megels

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

My Heart Only Beats When I Think Of You, Dew Drop

There was an afternoon, once it had fallen apart
You were at work, Megels
I drove to the beach and I walked the shoreline
The sun wasn't out and it was a bit cloudy
I walked slowly up and down as far as I could go
Feet leaving prints in the sand behind me
All I could hear were the waves beside me
I thought of the future
The one I wanted and the things we could do
I didn't want to go home
I had a new one with the person I wanted a life with
I let too many things get to me and scare me
I walked and thought about the things we could do
Inviting friends down to stay for a weekend
We would go to Universal and have a great time
Talk in the car with friends as we went on road trips
Surprising you at work with flowers
Having a child with you and how I would teach it
Moving to a house of our own
You would watch me create art or mow the lawn
We would travel the world, taking photos everywhere
I didn't want to leave the beach that day
Because I knew that future was in jeopardy
I cried and I prayed that afternoon
When I went home, the apartment was quiet
Temperature was comfortable, your clothes in the hamper
The magnetic letters on the fridge talking to each other
Waiting for you to come home
So I could see you and spend time with you again
That's all I think about every single day
Being back there
With you
My heart barely beats anymore
But when I think of that time with you
That future with you
I can feel those beats inside me
When you'd rest your head on my chest
As we laid there
Lovers entwined, hearts tangled
You'd raise your head and look into my eyes
I would see our love
I never ever wanted that moment in time to move
Whatever it takes, however long it takes
No matter how much pain and loneliness I have to endure
To have your head on my chest once again
Feeling your heartbeat
I will do it
That's the future I want
A future with you, Megels
There's nothing I love more than you

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxooxxoooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Always Hoping It's You Darlin

The beautiful Megels who took me in
Wanted me to be the one
To move and travel and live with you
A chance of a lifetime

The one girl who remains with my heart
My one who kept sticking with me
The one I think about every single day
Millions of reminders every second

If I had a thousand pages
I could never name them all
The reasons that I love you
For the list would be too tall

I love you for the melody
I hear within your voice
The way your brown eyes hold me
A captive, but by choice

I love you for your gentle touch
That melts away my pain
I love you for your loving heart
That made mine beat again

I love you for your loving smile
With which my heart soars
These are some of the reasons
Every second beat is yours

Will you go with me to comic cons
Play Mario Kart or Mystical Ninja into the night
Sing Lionel Ritchie in the car with me
Wave our wands at turkey legs at Universal

Will he
Is he your true other half
The way we are and were
Sharing in all the same interests

I beg you to really look
Really think and reconsider
Your letter is my guide post
Your words what keep my heart beating

Sharing all the same interests
Achieve all of our dreams
Exactly who we are looking for
Always hoping in the end it was us

I feel all of it
Completely the same
I want to be yours

Do you remember that day we met again
When we went to eat at my parents
You got out of your car when you saw me
The look on your face
How you felt

I need you Megels

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I Don't Feel Complete Without You, Megels

If you could see inside my soul Megels
See inside my heart
You'd know how I long for you
Whenever we're apart

If you could see inside my head Megels
If thoughts were things to see
You'd know how much I cherish you
How much you mean to me

In all the ways you'd comfort me
The way we would hold each other near
The way you knew just what to do
To chase away any fears

The sparkle in your beautiful brown eyes
Your crinkly nose smile
Your laugh, soft touch
Just a few of the many reasons
I love you so much

Knowing I could talk to you
About any and everything
Knowing together we would get through
Through whatever life would bring

I could search the whole world over
And this I know is true
I would never find another love
Like the love I found with you

Through each new day and new sunrise
Not knowing what would be in store
There was always one thing I know for sure
Each day I love you so much more

So if you could see inside my head Megels
If thoughts were things to see
You would know how blessed I would be
To have you with me

If there is anything I can do
To be with you, to pick us back up
Whatever you name
Would not be too much

I miss you so much darlin
Every day is a quiet cold bad dream
There's so much to share, show, go
I've never wished for anything more
Than to be with you

My heart and soul
All belong to you
I just don't feel complete without you
You are my one

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Whatever It Takes To Be Yours Again, Dew Drop

Megels
I sit here thinking of you
Of how much we shared
How perfect we were together
I re-read the letter you sent me over and over
Its been years since we first met
Telling you stories at the Ponderosa
Since we looked into each other's eyes
Not realizing that we were meant to be together
Its been years since we shared our first laugh
Our first smile
That magical day when you said hey darlin
Since we shared our first kiss
Right after playing mario in my room
I remember how you felt in my arms
How soft you held me
How warm and gentle you were
I remember how passionate that first kiss was
So destroyed that I had to go to work
But you ended up staying another day
Just to spend more time with me
Now my heart is in a state of pain
Its been years since we first met
And I still love you just the same, even more so
I still want to hold you just the same
What I felt for you is still the same
Its been years, Megels my darling
And that feeling will never change
You came into my life
Just when I thought I'd never find my other
You held out your hand
And you proved me wrong
Your palm was the key to my heart
You had it all along
I would do it all again
The zoo day with you
Seeing you when you came home on weekends
Watching Netflix through text miles away
Excited to play new games
You said you would always love me
Always wished it was me and you forever
Our adventures together from comic cons to blanket forts
I miss you so much my love
Whatever it takes to be yours again
Just name it
I am yours

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I Miss Our Times Together, Turkey Leg

Megels, the most beautiful girl
I'm in so much pain
I don't know how to handle depression
Not without you

I miss our times together
If I could trade the rest of my life
For just one more day with you
I wouldn't even have to think about it

Your whispers are gentle echoes
That sway ardent winds of harmony
And in the symphony of life
Each word is wrapped in rhapsody

We travel separate roads of life
Gather flowers along the way
Sharing the music of their fragrance

We exist between two winds
I here under a pale moon
You, the other end of somewhere

Sometimes when wind blows through trees
I pause to listen
And in its passing
I hear the tenderness of your voice
That fills the spectrum of my soul

You are the chime of warm rain
The moon that glows through the trees
And within the luster of evening
Your aura fills the scene

I hear the whispers of the wind
See the stars shine in the sky
But I hold the sunrise in my pocket

Dance with me within the wind
Then just let me love you

I miss you so so so much darlin
Through the toughest depression
The worst pains
I hope so badly
That you still think of me
Deep down still hoping in the end
It's me and you

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoooxoxoxoxoxoxo

Depression Pains Me Without You Darlin

Another dream last night
One that had me woken up in the worst depression
I actually found you this time Megels
But you wouldn't talk to me

There was a meanness, a cold feeling
Anytime I tried to approach you I couldn't reach you
Waking up this morning was the worst
My depression is taking a downward spiral

Every day is starting to fill with tears
Pains in my heart that I cannot fix
Writing you letters on here
Starting to feel like a complete fool

I miss waking up and looking over to see you
Remember the nights we slept naked for our health
Giving you back rubs before you fell asleep
Knowing we had found our other half

Beautiful eyes open across a pillow top
It seems for this moment time will stop
The earth slows and sounds wane
A frozen moment without stain

Your body close to mine
Our hearts beat in time
With a smile of simple pleasure
This moment should last forever

Some say perfection is unattainable
For most things that's explainable
But in your arms and with your heart's affection
I have found a brief moment of perfection

I miss you so damn much darlin
I'm feeling worse every single day
I would do anything to get your crinkle nose smile
Anything to be with you and stop feeling this way

You are why life can be beautiful
Why soul mates exist
The one person I will do anything for
My heart yearns for yours

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Wishes For Time to Stand Still

We were sitting on your rooftop
Staring at the skies

The way you say hey darlin
The crinkly nose smile you would give

The sun was dipping lower
I looked into your eyes

Your finger caressing my palm as we held
Holding on to me while you slept

You saw what I was feeling
I know you felt it too

No matter what our hearts always reached out
Seeing you on your porch as I walked over

We wanted time to just stand still
Then forever there'd be me and you

Those long car rides in each other's company
Our special place with all the inside jokes

Why can't we freeze this moment
Return to it in time

How my heart hurts
A constant rain cloud around my world

Stay together through the years
Proclaim I'm yours and you are mine

Awaiting excitedly to see you that day
Hearing your voice like music to my ears

So let us freeze this moment
Store it safely away

Our special blue box full of our memories
Your letter that reaches my heart in every way

Even if we leave this place
We'll return to it someday

I miss you so much darlin
My heart is yours Megels

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxxoooxoxoxoxoxoxox

The Rest of My Days Gazing Into Your Eyes

Megels, when you came to the store that day
And your beautiful eyes gazed at me
From the darkness within
The world around me came to a stop
For just a few seconds
As I saw the love from within you

You looked at me with your warm smile
Your brown hair around your face
You said softly 'Hey darlin"
And once again
I was at your mercy

For when you look into my soul
And I hear the sound of your sweet voice
My heart opens to you my love
With all of my dreams now fulfilled

I never knew that a love like this
Could ever exist
A love that consumes me
A love so powerful
And so overwhelming
That I fear if I were without it
My heart would no longer have a meaning
To its existence
For the love that flows through it now
Is what keeps me alive
Keeps me whole

As I gazed into your eyes my darlin dew drop
Down into the depths of your very being
I can see the love you feel for me
A love as strong as my own
A love that fills me so full of emotion
So full of hope for the future
That I pray I will spend the rest of my days
Gazing into your eyes
I can't think of any better future
Than one with my hand in yours
Spending all of our days together

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxooxoxxooxoxoxoxoxoxo

I Will Love You Until My Life Has Ceased Megels

I cannot describe how it feels without you Megels
Depression is just a part of it
It's so difficult to handle and without you
Without you, I don't have my other half to talk to

Every day there is something new
Something I want to share or talk about or do with you
A memory eating away at me
Bringing everything darker

I've never known happiness like I did with you
The last couple of years have been misery
A locked cell where all I do is deteriorate
The only thing I go on is our memories

No river's span is quite as vast
No mountain's reach so high
No rose's scent is quite as sweet
As the love I hold inside

Every time I see your face
Every time you smile
Every time I'd kiss your lips
My love grows all the while

I was the luckiest man to walk the Earth
To know a love like yours
Loving you was so easy
You opened my heart's doors

I will love you until my life has ceased
And still more with my soul
Because that fateful day when we met
My heart you forever stole

I miss how you'd say you always checked
Always read and looked
From my blog to anything else you could
Do I still swim in your thoughts

When I think of the future it's only with you
It pains me to see you with someone that isn't your other half
Not like how me and you could be
There's a lightning in a bottle between us

Every day I wish for you
I miss you Megels my darling
My heart barely beats anymore
But it beats for you

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxox

The Spark Ignited The Day We Met

My dreams still revolve around you, Megels
I'm always looking for you
Waiting for you
Waking up and not seeing you there
Wondering if it's like it was with us

It pains me to deeper sadness
Knowing he won't sing in the car with you
Join you at comic cons
Dress up and quiz you Harry Potter
Challenge you in Mario Kart

Like you are his child
A life of being on a boat
With someone who will never be silly
Who left their inner child behind
More of a companion to your dad than your other half
Sharing none of the same interests

Your letter burning into my soul
I read it every day
Just thinking of your smiling face
It could brighten the darkest side of the moon
You are love darlin dew drop

A fire that is carefully stoked and tended
Will not burn out
It will blaze so brightly
That its warmth lingers in your heart
It will beckon your tired soul
Embrace you in its radiance

The familiar smell of its smoke
Can bring a wistful smile
The occasional blast of fireworks
Can take your breath away
Its sizzle can enthrall you
Its flickering flames entrance you

The glowing embers provide comforting heat
The knowledge that a gentle breeze
Can rekindle a bonfire
My love, Megels
The spark that ignited the day we met
Remains an eternal flame

You are my shining star
I rerun it through my head all day
Running and holding you in my arms
Your hair in my face
Kissing your lips

I am yours
No matter what the world throws at us

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

The Most Beautiful Treasure Is You, Darlin Dew Drop

Life has been a ship on high seas

Filled with adventure and bright sun

When I was with you Megels

Without you in my life

That ship is sunken, drown under the sea

The sun is dark, the sound is silent

The missing treasure of this sinking vessel

On the seafloor, where it would nestle

Against the base for years it'd lay

Patiently waiting for that special day

When I would come to claim my prize

Hoping the chest to my surprise

Would hold the heart that I've been missing

The talks

The laughs

The hugs

The kissing

That day would come and I would find

What lay ahead, no longer behind

I'd searched through darkness, to the deepest sea

And found that chest staring back at me

What lies inside, I do not know

Unlock the latch and open slow

I peek within, with nerves I'm shaking

The prize inside could stop the aching

Cause within the chest that I've searched for

I found the heart and even more

The talks

The laughs

They were all there

The hugs

The kisses

For me to share

The most beautiful treasure I've finally seized

Did not imagine I could be so pleased

I searched so long through the deep sea blue

I love you my dew drop

My prize is you Megels

I will swim the deepest oceans

The darkest seas

You are the treasure

That is worth any danger, any time, any distance

My heart needs you

I need you

Always

Love, Your Edward

xoxoxxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoooxoxoxoxoxoox

Don't spend your days on a boat
Never getting to do what you want
Never sharing your interests
Spend them with me
Where we can share and do everything together
I want you
I want you so much darlin

My Hand Reaching Out To Yours, Darlin

Had another dream, this time walking through some restaurant type place talking to someone on how much it just doesn't look right.  You having nothing in common with him and no shared interests and how he looks like your father and being so upset.  I saw you sitting there and you didn't even look up.  The pain and depression rose to wake me up.  Have to try and get back to sleep.


What I would do tonight is sit in the sand with you
Our hands would be held even just pinkies
The sun setting making the sky orange
The last lights glittering over the sea

The breeze blowing through your hair
I look at you and you smile
I say 'I'm never letting you go'
You look back and say 'never do'

The sun sets upon the golden sand
We sit together hand in hand
We gently embrace
And look into each other's eyes

I wonder if you are an angel in disguise
You hold me like there's no tomorrow
I suddenly forget the past sorrow
I found Heaven in you

I kiss your soft lips and you kiss mine
I never knew loving someone could be this fine
You pick me up when I am down
How love can blossom and a heart can bloom

Your touch is so gentle
Your hands the softest emotion
A love like this found through time
Our hearts a connection found nowhere else

My heart is beating 200 times a minute
Because Megels, my love, you are in it
The sound of your heartbeat
All through the night

We fall asleep in each other's arms
Waking to you in the morning light
I look into your eyes
You say 'thank you for never giving up'
Thank you for waiting for me

I am empty without you
I believe deep down in all of my heart
That we are meant to be
Something inside me that knows you aren't where you want
How you wrote to me how many interests we shared
How you could be the real you

I don't see you in that now
Don't go down that road again
I'm right here
We can live our true lives
Achieve all of our dreams
Together

I miss you darlin
I miss my turkey leg, magic wand waving, star wars fanning, supernatural quoting, gamer girl
My heart is yours
My hand out to yours
I'm here

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxxoxxoxooxoxoxox

Take My Hand, Be The Real You, Dew Drop

Holidays are the most painful without you

Sitting and wondering where you are

If I'm in your thoughts at all

I miss you like crazy, Megels

All I can think about is how mismatched you are

How perfect matched we are

I want to play with you

Travel with you

Lay with you

Hear your beautiful voice

Hold you close

My heart is in constant pain

I can't tell you how often I look out the window

Just looking, hoping you are looking out as well

Missing our days

Misery is all around me

I can't help but cry often

I don't want you to make the same mistake

Take my hand

Share all of our interests

Be the real you

Your autumn eyes stare out at me

Silky locks of burnished brown

Poise, elegance and aristocracy

Statuesque, splendor, and magnificence

All words pale

All words fail

To bind the beauty that is you darlin

Beauty be not lonely

Virtue is her friend

Gentle, sweet, with wits abound

Your voice is so sweet

The lexicon pales in comparison

The language fails

To describe that is you, Megels

I'd cross not mountains for you

I'd move them one by one

I'd walk not burning sands

Instead I'd seed your lands

Your world I would fill with statues

And gardens at your feet

These things I say would happen

Each time we came to meet

You make a man become a man

Make me strive for more

You make me wish for worthiness

Remake my very core

Thus I pay my homage

Poetic tribute not mere prose

I give to you this piece of me, Megels

And not some dying rose

There is no day I won't be waiting for you

No day where tears won't be shed for you

No time too long to be with you again

Be the real you

With me

Miss you so so so much Megels

Always

Love, Your Edward

xoxoxooxxooxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

My Wish Is For You Darlin Dew Drop

Another year where I sit on the fourth of july
Not seeing any fireworks
Not going anywhere
The rain outside sets the perfect mood

It just seems empty
Without you Megels
It just seems blank
Like I'm missing the most important part of me

On this fourth I write more love to you
Hoping you read it
On a night when things just aren't clicking
Doesn't feel right
Not like us
You'll read my words

The sun sets
Upon the golden sand
We sit together
Hand in hand

We gently embrace
And look into each other's eyes
I wonder if you are
An angel in disguise

You hold me
Like there's no tomorrow
I suddenly forget
The past sorrow

I kiss your soft lips
And you kiss mine
I never knew
Loving someone could be this fine

You pick me up
And carry me to our room
Oh how a love can blossom
And a heart can bloom

Your touch is so gentle
But your hands so strong
How could a love like this
Ever go wrong

My heart is beating
200 times a minute
Because, Megels, my love
You are in it

The sound of your heartbeat
All through the night
We fall asleep in each other's arms
And wake to the morning light

I look into your eyes
And this is when
I say thank you
For teaching me to love again

I miss you darlin
My biggest wishes are to see you again
To have our days back
To smile once again

May my loving words reach you
My love for you stronger than ever
My thoughts are only on you Megels
Every single day

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoooxoxoxoxoxooxoxxoxoxooxox

He Will Never Be Like We Could

Beneath velvet cloth of night and shadows
My heart confessed its thoughts to the wind
I could feel your smile from a distance
With the touch of your closeness profound

The sun reached behind a fading sky
So the moon could take its proper place
Day to darkness
Brightened by the stars
Leaving upon the blue waters
A shimmering portrait of your face, Megels

You darlin, with all your savoring sweetness
Tenderly pierced the walls of my soul
As you wove a new tapestry with
The golden threads of hope and love

Yesterday you offered me courage
Today you endowed me with your strength
Every moment together
A gift
Every day a celebration of life

How lovely the music of your heart
You are the air I breathe
Sound I hear
The spirit that gently moves me
I don't wish for the moon
Not when I have the stars

You are the stars I wish to every night
Just saying your name fills me with energy
Megels, I miss you more than life
I think about your beauty every day
My love only growing for you in your absence
Poems of love every day to you

Miss you my darlin
Take my hand
Let us pick back up
He won't be what we could
I'm right here
Ready and waiting

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The Image of You On My Mind

To my darlin dew drop
When memories cry
When memories fade and die

I'm going to grow old
My passion
My fiery passion
My flaming lust is going to grow cold

But my heart will always flow with a molten love lava
In your name this lava flows through my veins
My heart beats for you
My heart will never cease to beat your name

When I lose my charm and my glamour
When I lose my physique and my game
When I'm old and wrinkly
When I cannot look myself in the mirror
I still stare at you, Megels

When memories fade
When I forget the days of the week
And the months of the year
When I mix names
And faces
The memory of you
Will always shine bright and clear
Your image
Has been burnt to my memory
I will never forget your radiance and beauty

I will die happy
With the image of your sweet smile
On my mind
And love
On my lips and in my heart
For the only thing in my mind right now
Is you
I miss you like crazy
To live a life with you
Is what heaven truly is

I am yours
No matter what
No matter when

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox

I Am Yours Darlin

Megels, I make this solemn promise to you

To be your lover

When you need to be loved

Your doctor

When you are ill

Your army

When you go to war

Your umbrella

When life rains down on you

Your rock

When you get weary

Your shield

When you need defense

Your spirit

When you are drained

Your pillow

When you need to rest

Your voice

When no one can hear you

Your ear

When no one will listen

Your comfort

When you feel pain

Your hero

When you are under duress

Your sunshine

When darkness falls

Your answer

When questions arise

Your inspiration

To overcome obstacles

Your hand

To hold when you are frightened

Your kiss

That wakes you everyday

Your I love you

Each and every night

I miss you so much my darling

I will wait for as long as it takes

For the day I can hold you again

Life is misery without you

My heart beats only for you

I am yours

All of me

Always

Love, Your Edward

xoxoxooxxooxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxox