Tossing and Turning

Tossing and turning cannot sleep
Writing to you eases the pain
If only you were here to hold on to
Falling and falling
I let you down but here I am
Ready to make up for the lows
What does it mean when you only see one future
One full of true love for one person
I write out each day hoping you read
The thought of you not is too much to imagine
Each day to wake up thinking you checked
Your heart like mine
Yearning for the other just apart in distance
I would leave tomorrow if it meant to see you
I'm ready and in your doorway
What's meant to be will be
Guided by hearts and love
We wouldn't have gone through all that we had
If not we were made to stick together
I love you Megels my sweet
Whatever I must do to reclaim that smile
That look
Time is not gone and more is to come
The rest of my days I wish to be with you
I ask God for a sign that you are reading
The views go up but how am I to know for sure
Will you be mine
Will you be my girl
The stars twinkle but do they carry the message to you
I am the sheets that hold you tight at night
Behind you like you like it
I'm ready and want you
Whatever it may take

I love you Megels
I'm ready to come home

To my True Love

My heart is in deep pain
Misery is covering the residence walls
The day brings more thoughts of you than ever before
I am told the happiest I had been seen in a while was when you were over for dinner
Sitting with you on the couch, hands together
I am incomplete without you
I was stuck in a prison that I could not get out of
Now being out I realized how blinded I was by toxicity
All of my being is reaching out to you
I know my blindness caused pain in you and I would give anything to take it back
My heart only beats for you and I know that a piece of yours still reaches too
The love of my life wrote me a letter that I read every day
I am standing in her doorway promising to give her everything she ever wished
I will come to you, it is unfair of me to ask you to move anywhere else
A man moves to be closer to his love
You are worth all of it and more
I re-read the twitch conversations and letter as to commit it to memory
My choices and fear have caused me to lose the best of opportunities
I know how much you care and wanted us to be
If I may borrow lines from your letter....
I will always be there and this door will NEVER close
I will always hope that it is us no matter what happens
I have never met anyone who I had so much in common with
Not a day goes by without a memory of us replaying through my mind
I want to be the reason you are happy
I understand that I have hurt and my karma for that pain travels through my veins daily
I too think of our memories every single second of the day
You sending me a picture of your radio playing our Cher song
The sound of your voice hearing mine on the phone after so long apart
No distance is too far and I will keep my word to move to you
I am at that door that will never close and I am ready to love you unconditionally
Nothing seems right without you, like the world is wrong
I remember which photo you liked of us so much and how we stuck together
I could have been way better and given the opportunity can prove that
I know in my bones that there is a part in your heart still hoping that it is me in the end
The part that still kept looking at my twitch and blog
The part that still reads the blogs now
The part that keeps my art up on the wall
The part that was glad I still have our blue box
The part that said the door will never ever close no matter what
I have made mistakes and am willing to do whatever it takes to erase those from your memory
Like a drug I was killing myself and unaware while everyone else begged me to stop
The past years a mistake and regretful of being with a toxic partner
It kills me to see what I truly wanted slip out of my hands due to my mistakes
My biggest regret was leaving that day when you went to work
Everything in me knew it was wrong and I wanted to be there when you got back
I still cry over that moment
I don't want the biggest mistake of my life to be losing you
I want to come back in an instant, as soon as I can
How close we were to marriage means something special to me
My feelings and wants still remain the same and I want your hand
If anyone else is around you and I both know that they aren't me
I know it is unfair but I believe in my heart that you know it isn't like me
These posts are all I have to keep me going without your voice near mine
Seeing the views and hoping to GOD they are you brings me life
I wish we had our little apartment back and I was making my movie with you in it
It's never too late darlin, true love has no expiration date
No matter how long I have to wait or what I have to do
I will do it all and more to prove to you that I can make you happiest
I know in your heart you still hold out some hope for it
I am right here beautiful, ALWAYS will be
Nobody could and can replace you and that I will stick by
To me you are perfect
Even now with tears in my eyes I re-read your letter again
The same thoughts running through my head
I want to take you to comic cons and not concerts
I want to sing in the car with you all sorts of loud
I want you to kick my butt in mario kart
I want to be the reason people haven't seen you smile so much in your life
I cannot deny my heart and how it feels and what I believe
I don't want my mistakes to define me
My hand is reached out to you Megels my darling
I will hold it out there for as long as it takes
The day I feel yours in mine will be the happiest day of my life
Today I don't celebrate a holiday but I wish upon everything that exists
Please, grant me the opportunity to prove I can make you happiest
To borrow from you again...
Universal will always be our special place
So many places down there you wished I could share with you
The biggest one of all that I still look at...
I think you're handsome and talented and kind and funny and I'd be the luckiest girl in the world to have another chance with you...
I know that it is still in there hoping even if it is deep down in there
It's me and you Megels
My heart only beats for one girl on the planet
And that girl is you
I love you
I truly love you
I can't give up on the person who I know feels the same as me.
I messed up a lot and hurt a lot due to being affected by a situation that I couldn't handle
You never deserved to be hurt
You have my word that I vow to be yours and be the BEST person I can for you until death do us part.
I would be the luckiest guy in the world to have another chance with you sweetheart
I hope your heart is listening and that you are reading.
I'm all open and ready for you whatever it takes
It's me and you vs the world
Will you have our fun fantastic love filled life back my Ramona Flowers?
I'm putting my yes in right now
I'm waiting for you beautiful
I truly love you
Truly
I miss you so much it hurts
Prayers go out that you read this.  Miss and Love you dew drop
Always.

xoxoxooxoxoxoxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

A Loving Couple Future

I remember sitting at the dinner table and having the phone in my lap
Happily looking at the screen every time I felt a vibration
Seeing her name brought a smile to my face that was so big it could hardly fit on my head
It was one of my favorite moments with you
My response will still be the same darlin
If I may be the Edward on the text again, I'd like to describe that future I saw
A few things will be different but the future but one thing is the exact same
I'm holding your hand
An apartment is procured and we walk in with all of our boxes and the space is wonderful
We are tired and very sweaty but the feeling of our own place is intoxicating
The dog wags around taking notes of where he was going to set up his bed
We make the place our own with a few cosmetic changes
You like moving couches to the opposite side of where they were
The bed was set up first with care so that the couple could sleep off their tired bodies
Comfy in the polka dotted sheets and her holding on to him like a spider monkey
You continue schooling online and answering discussion questions every night
Nearby you I am drawing for a new animated movie that is to be my best yet
You stop to look up and watch me every few minutes, I do the same more
You give me the idea and name of a business where I can do my art and grow
The time comes for you to graduate with your masters and I couldn't be prouder
A certain friend rubs me the wrong way and I make ill of the situation
Working together we build a business for nerdy things from the ground up
I fall deeply in love with you, more than I ever was before
We take weekend trips to Universal studios and Disney
You help with my movie and we have a blast thinking of new ideas
The movie pays off and I save what I get to take you on a trip
Europe calls and we are whisked off to the city of love, Paris
The sights and sounds are magnificent and we almost don't leave
You are smitten by the Eiffel tower and that's when I make my move
I've never met anyone quite like you
Strong, caring, beautiful, funny, and with all the same interests
You lift me when I am down and encourage me to never give up my dreams
You are a role model and the best partner anyone could ever ask for
When an angel comes down from heaven you don't question it
I'm not perfect and have made mistakes that I am ashamed of
But a life without you is no life at all
Will you share that life with me and grant me the honor of making you smile every day
The honor of making me the happiest man in the world
Will you marry me
Tears in your eyes you say yes and the people around Paris watching applaud
We use that as a starting point to our travels seeing as how we had so much fun there
We make it a point to travel somewhere every year
Alternating between somewhere in the states and then somewhere overseas
It's after two years of this that we get serious about bringing a little one in on our adventure
I am a big fan of your suggestion of the name Layla.
The Geek Sense business brings in enough that I make sure you are comfy at home
The birth is wonderful and we hold our little one in our arms
Counting all ten toes
We raise her to be nerdy like us and in the best way possible
The world can be a dangerous, awful place but our girl knows much better
The best days of my life are when you are by my side
Missing you is awful and not a day gets past me where I don't make a wish to you
You're beautiful beyond imagination
Make me laugh like no other
Create memories that we share with love easily
We get each other and can be our true selves with the other
Growing up I thought at first meant moving past my hobbies
When it really meant to reach a maturity where love and family come first
Treating the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with like she is a goddess
For she is your partner in crime and you couldn't do it without her
I sit here my hand always open inviting yours to snuggle up inside of it
My readiness is all for you Megels darling
I cannot deny my heart and truly believe we can change the world
I love you with my being
Every cell
Every feeling
Every beat
Sweetest of dreams to you sweetness, another star wished on, another goodnight sent your way

xoxoxoxoxoxooxxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Evening of Thoughts of You with Chapter 19

When I sit my mind reels with thoughts of you

What we would do tonight and how many laughs we would share

Will you choose a game, movie, or a walk on the beach

The gulls squeal in hopes that their noises will convince the beautiful lady

I am happy with either choice as any time with you is luck I've never had

Before we make a final decision I become a personal chef

You are treated to the tastiest of foods making not only you smile but you tummy too

The chicken is delicious and you add your own chili to the mix

Stomachs full we are now more of sound mind to make a decision

I suggest the walk on the beach

Your hand in mine as our feet leave footprints behind us

Proclamations to those who walk by that we were there too

You agree to this if once we get back you can kick my butt in Mario Kart

I say that it will be a challenge accepted in my favor

We stand at the oceans door, the waves splashing around our naked feet

You put your head on my shoulder as we watch the sun begin its evening slumber

You are the best thing to ever happen to me I say

You do your gorgeous crinkly smile and turn to be held

We kiss and the wind blows your hair in a way that resembles your emotions

I've never met anyone quite like you

As I sit I miss you more than I ever have before

Stepping out into the light from the darkest tunnel was long overdue

My greatest wish that I whisper out each night has the prettiest face attached

The girl who can make me laugh just quoting a turkey leg

You are the only person to make me want to achieve greatness never thought possible

You are the person I want to shower with affection and support to no end

You are the girl who deserves flowers at work and to be told she is beautiful

Ever single day

My heart beats with flattery and happiness knowing my art touches you

Looking down at you in bed and reserving a special place in your heart

A place that I pray to every single day

A letter that I read every single day

Your handwriting is like looking at the finest typography once could find

You words speaking the language my heart understands

I've never met someone I knew I was meant for

You are the one that I believe I was put on this planet for

I miss you like crazy darlin dew drop

I am yours forever and always

As I sit I continue to dream of your hand in mine

The only true love and happiness in the future has a beautiful name attached

Megels

My heart is yours and yours only

Sweetest dreams to you sweetness

My words will continue to drift to you until you are in my arms once again

I love you

A Painter's Love brings also Chapter 18

The day went by and he held his palette steady on his hand, eyeing up the canvas before him.

Recently his days were filled with sadness and difficulties.

The canvas stared back at him almost daring him to deface it.

His mind was reeling and only one thought was able to break through and ease his thoughts.

The thoughts of her.

He closed his eyes and focused his mind, trying to envision her in front of him.

Driven purely by his love for her he began to dip his brush into the paint.

Visions of what he should create buzzed through his brain.

Nothing settled on the perfect picture until all thoughts landed back on her.

He missed her greatly.

Memories and past pieces he created for her splayed out in front of him.

Previous canvases of Day of the Dead women adorned her walls above her.

Pieces of him he was glad were close to her watching over her.

He wished he was with her now, holding her closely.

The brush colored the canvas wildly and his emotions were put on the paper.

He would give anything to be with her.

The travel would be nothing as long as the prize was her.

Another color was added bringing more life to the painting.

He envisioned her finger and the design of the ring he wanted to place on it.

Closing his eyes he could hear her proclaim how she could watch him create for hours.

The landscape started as a street through a small park.

The streetlights were next lining the pathway.

Thinking of her brought life to the painting that he couldn't manage by himself.

She was his love, the true love that poets speak about.

This beautiful girl could just say hey darlin into your ear and you would go weak in the knees.

Leaves were added to the many trees that lined the path.

Light from the lamps were reflected onto the puddles along the path.

The brush continued its dance along the wet canvas.

When he thought of her he felt complete.

Nobody else was worthy of the name Megels.

His joy in life was making her laugh and smile.

Next he created a couple holding hands in the middle, an umbrella in hand.

He made sure that they looked just like him and her.

The painting was becoming special and it was all because of her.

His heart was in pain wanting to be with her and waiting no matter how long.

She was worth it, worth it all.

He didn't want to wait, paint flying through the air.

The piece took shape into a scene of a couple in love walking through the park in the rain.

It was for her, he missed her more than every stroke of the brush.

He looked out the window across the cloudy sky.

Wishing that she could hear him and read his words of love.

He was ready for her and would do whatever it took to hold her again.

Knowing they were meant to be kept his fire alive day after day.

The painting then dried and he was happy with his work.

Signed it Edward and named it the darling dew drops in love.

He hung it on the wall next to the picture of them both.

She wore a yellow dress and his face took up the entire top half.

His love for her was unmatched.

I miss you my sweet darling and I hope these words find you.

I love you more than ever and will lasso the moon to be yours.

Sweetest of dreams to you sweetheart.

Until tomorrow, my love to you.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Middle of night can't sleep love

Middle of the night and I can't sleep

All I can think about is you

The passions and dreams burn hottest when I think of you

From projects to movies to everything in between

I miss you so much right now

The night is calling and I want to answer

First I wanted to say a good night to you

A good morning before work to send a smile to start your day

My heart remains steady to be your Edward

The future paved in the funnest times with our true selves

I'm yours darlin

Still following your letter

My hand prays at night reached out your way

Good night and good morning dew drop

with love, from Me

Needing you Lots my Love........containing Chapter 17

I miss you like crazy

The days are nightmares

My dreams with you constantly running through my head

The more I pray the more I see you

The future is golden with you by my side

I miss the way you looked at me

The way you glanced back when walking away

My hands are lost explorers seeking paradise in yours

There isn't a star in the sky that I haven't wished on

Those days together full of laughs and fun

I fantasize you next to me every night on the pillows

Your hair across my chest while you slumber

I count down the minutes every morning I wake up

Until the time I am home to write you again

My heart beats in fear hoping you are reading each one

Your beautiful eyes scanning every sentence

Pretty ears hearing every video

You are the missing piece in the life I choose to live

Feeling like I am someone else in another life I didn't choose

Miserable and worn down the days beat me up

The only thing going are thoughts of you and your heavenly voice

What I would do to be near you so

Would walk any distance and swim any sea

The clouds send messages to you across the many states

Full of my whispers and wishes and love

I am incomplete without you

Our memories are on a continuous loop in my head

Hopes flow through me like a majestic waterfall

I miss you more than you even are aware

Every day bidding you with my love

You are my other half and I want to prove that to you every day

Your smile your touch your heart

I want to regail you with every talent and care I can give

For you are my other and my mission is your smile

I love you my dew drop

Through the fear of not being read

I continue on with my love

Sending it your way every day

In hopes your heart will hear me and reach back

I am here for you no matter what it takes

Always

You are my sweetheart and nothing can take that away

I love you and miss you darlin

sweetest dreams to you

for my sweetest dreams all involve you

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxooxoxox