Forts of Love, Two Becoming Closer

Love always finds a way, like the one flower that begins to grow after all the terrain around it has been destroyed.  The heart is a very unique and interesting part of the body.  It operates to keep the body alive, pumping blood throughout and making sure it does its job of getting you through as many days as it can.  But it also has an emotional core to itself being able to give off feelings to the rest of the body and messages to guide the body towards what is meant to be.  My heart truly beats for one person and as will be continued on in this episode, the lining up of events and situations are far too precise and lucky to just be coincidences.  Being more excited than anything that had led up to that point, my heart raced every day in total anticipation for the girl who had moved back home.  No longer would there have to be a wait for the weekend she would come home or only spending time together through text or messages.  She would be just a few streets away.  As she spent her time moving back in and getting herself situated, games were played and streamed online so that she could at least watch that while she got herself ready for bed at night.  She would split the duty of doing her homework and then watching some of the gameplay. There was something so satisfying and fulfilling knowing that she was watching as I fought my way down a hallway of hell in the orignal Nintendo Batman game.  The same quotes being said at the end of every night.
Nighty night, sweet dreams darlin.
Laying in bed with the biggest smile adorned across my face, the stars seemed to shine a lot brighter and sleep was a lot more relaxing.  More times hanging out followed that provided more Mario games and sharing in our love of Star Wars we began to watch the saga starting from episode one.  Although with that being the least liked of the bunch, it didn't take long before we were in each other's arms again removing clothes.  Making love to her was every feeling the body could experience taken up ten notches.  She moved with perfect rhythm and afterwards we could barely move with spent energy, my mind clearing out so much that new creative ideas began to flow in itself.  The tables were turned not too long after when an invitation to her place was set on the table and I found myself walking over to a side of the neighborhood I had never visited before.  Once inside I was shown where she had taken up residence and immediately I could see her sense of style.  It was a style all her own that had a consistent theme of colors and gave a sense of class and a dose of adorable.  Above the bed hung a large canvas print of Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's.  The bed covered in black and white sheets plastered with polka dots.  Pictures of friends and events hung on the wall next to the bed and a small tv hooked up to a wii sat across the room facing the bed.  The young fun excited youths inside of us broke out and took over as we constructed a small fort out of bedsheets for us to play under and watch her play Luigi's Mansion.

She was adorable in every sense of the word and the amount of signs in my body began to pile up.  There was a sense that something was finally fit together to make everything complete.  The missing puzzle piece that had been lost for years finally completing the picture.  Just being near her had given my nervous system a dose of relaxation and trust that allowed me to open up to her about anything and everything.  Her as well.  Like, telling me she wore a small wig along with her hair.  At first being worried it was something health related, I tried to watch what I said only feeling foolish after she explained it was just for show because she liked how it looked.  Her bed became my second home and the only other place I truly felt right and like I was home.  The nights she would work on her homework, I would be beside her laying down with something on Netflix showing on her tv.  Taking the time out of her schoolwork, she introduced a number of shows that had not been on my radar that immediately became staples and programming that reminds me of her any and every time I see it.  Supernatural was the biggest.  Following two brothers who fight demons while looking for the one that took their mother away was a hit right away in my eyes.  Her knowledge of the show was amazing and only further helped cement me in the grasp of the popular show.  I returned the favor with Walking Dead only to give up myself not too far into it.  Above all my favorite thing about it was just laying with her.  She had a softness to her that when she held on to me took away any and all feelings of negativity, worry, anxiety, or pain that I had ever felt.  Her touch was something special.  The feeling of her body on mine while we laid under the covers is a feeling I try and replicate every night with failing results with pillows.  There is only one her and only one my heart has fallen for.
The nights that I would stay over were especially fun due to somehow we would end up waking up in the middle of the night and making love in the dark and then immediately passing right back out to sleep.  Her kisses were my medicine, her touch my healing.  She continued this healing happiness by taking me out on my birthday.  Her car filled with her music as she sang out and her phone occasionally ringing with the Imperial March theme from Star Wars.  We took the incline up to the tallest of hills and looked out over the city.  While we were up there serendipity struck again with a piece of grafitti on a bench behind us that perfectly encapsulated our time there.  The phrase Love is Key was written across it and has been in my heart ever since.  We took a photo together that remained her favorite, her in her yellow dress and my smiling face taking up most of the picture.  Finishing off the day we ate at the hard rock cafe and took a walk along the river holding hands and treating it like we were strolling along the beach under the moonlight.

She had spoken about Animal Crossing on the Wii so I made sure I had tracked it down to give to her and a few weeks into our whirlwind of romance, her friend started to make more appearances.  This friend was more of the crazier variety and was planning her own wedding of which my love had to be a part of.  I had known this friend from seeing them around high school and had actually had a few classes with her brother.  This was all fine and good until her friend had a party for herself and invited my love and I chose not to go.  Something didn't feel right in my heart and knowing that it was my newly acquired girlfriend's birthday, I knew I should have gone at least to be near her on her birthday.  I was not proud of that decision and felt more and more terrible as the night went on.  No matter how uncomfortable a situation was, as long as she was near me I knew I could get through it.  But I still failed her.
The next morning I gave her many gifts including banjo-kazooie for N64 and the Sims, both of which were games she really loved.  I knew the gifts weren't the cure to missing her the night before and knew that she knew that too.  Right before her friends came back to pick her up for dress fittings, I made sure I let her know just how much I cared about her and how badly I felt for not being there with her.  Another moment where my heart sent a million butterflies through my body letting me know that this girl was something truly special and not to ruin that no matter what happened.  With things smoothed over, she began to plan for a trip to Mexico for her friend's wedding.  We would plan to one day see Harry Potter world in Florida and finished off our Star Wars movies, staring the Marvel movies after that.  The big seasons were coming and more stars aligned for us to end up working at the same place in the mall called the Limited.  Where she was my boss and my main duty would sometimes be to get coffee for the most beautiful manager in the world.  I was truly grateful that she was able to help me out with that and it wasn't long before we were both feeling the sting of working in that place.  But, my love for her rocket boosted me into romance every single day.  If I wasn't working, I was visiting her at work with lunch or just to see her and hope to get a kiss in before seeing her later for more.  Flowers, real and fake, were left on her car to find when she left work while I sat at home waiting for when she left work to get the call or message and how happy it had made her night.  She truly was the love of my life and the way we fit together was so rare and unique and perfect.  I was a fan of Kevin Smith and he had an assistant whom he called Megels and I liked it so much I used it for myself to give her a cute nickname.  From henceforth she was Megels.  She was gearing up to go on her wedding trip to Mexico and I was wondering what I was to do for a week without her there.  For the first time in my life I was having thoughts on settling down with someone.  Asking someone to marry me and starting a family.  Those thoughts had never gone through my head before but with Megels it made me feel like it was not only all possible but it would work out so well that we would have more fun than anyone could have together.
Now all I had to do with somehow get through the week without her as she traveled off to Mexico.  I was in love.  The truest love there was and plans of a future finally began to construct themselves.  The stars twinkled above and looking out upon them I knew that someone was listening.  They delivered an angel into my lap and something in my heart knew.  It just knew.  Same reason it does now.  Always.

Love, Your Edward

The story continues in part 4..........

xoxooxoxx miss you so much darlin dew drop, love you with all of my heart, I believe the future is us, hand in hand, miss your voice, your touch, i love you megels oxoxooxoxoxxoxoxxx

Zoo Date before a Move Home

When you grow up there are times when you think that adulthood doesn't bring with it moments that exude the same excitement as when you woke up on Christmas morning.  The look at the table of gifts at your birthday party or the feeling of a movie or object of your interest comes out after a long wait of anticipation.  That once you are an adult you sort of take things for granted or know the magic that was made behind the curtain and that sense of wonder is lost.  This ideology is completely untrue and was proven to me when the most beautiful girl in my life met up with me to have a zoo date one amazing weekend summer day.  I made sure that I had the directions down and ready so I wouldn't get lost and show that I at least somewhat knew where things were.  The drive wasn't long and inside conversations were had and more than a few times eyes were looked away from the road finding themselves staring at her.  Her voice was a sound that was the sweetest candy to my ears.  I could, would, and always will enjoy listening to her speak on any subject.  There is a sweetness and care to her voice that wasn't fake or showy in the face of feigning interest or doing so just to be nice.  She has an honest voice spoken from a real person with a pure heart.  Once we arrived at the zoo and parked we took the long escalators up to the entrance of the park and started our walk together.  I'll admit I was a little nervous at first trying to make sure I could call back all the subjects of conversations that I had practiced because if I were to look or seem stupid or too quiet in the beginning of this walk, there was a lot of walking ahead still to go.  Each enclosure held an animal at a good range where we could chat about it and 'accidentally' bump into each other a lot.  Any chance I could get to feel her skin on mine or make her laugh or smile was taken.  She has a laugh that made you feel wonderful inside, like you finished a race in first place or got straight A's in school.  Halfway through the date and to her excitement, we finally made it to the penguins.
Her favorite.

She watched as the black and white little guys jumped in and out of the water with the biggest smile on her face.  We began talking about more in depth of what we had been up to and in her case it seemed almost like she had lived a few different lives in the span of just a few years.  My favorite part of time to me was when she worked at a company that took care of elderly or people who weren't fit to take care of themselves.  It wasn't the job itself that I found interesting alone, it was the stories that she had with her that she experienced there.  There was a particular dark unused hall that she had to come through while working and it was so scary that every time she had to come through she ran through like she was being chased by a ghost.  Speaking of ghost, she had started to be followed or watched rather by a ghost that seemed to keep her company wherever she went.  It didn't pop up a lot and the only parts she would ever catch were the end fabrics of a dress.  A part of me wondered if it wasn't a ghost out to get her or anything but a ghost that was keeping watch of her and just being around watching.  As we went around the zoo I had told my failure of applying to the art department of the grocery stores and getting the interview myself and doing amazingly well on it.  A few weeks later being called back to interview against one other person and doing well then too.  A few weeks after that called back a third time to now a room full of people where it didn't go well and I didn't get the position.  This led to me staying where I was in the photo department and then that closing and me moving into the customer service portion.  These events all happening and lining up were like serendipity to me as because all of that happened, I was at the desk that weekend that she decided to come home to visit and then go to that grocery store at that exact time where we met again.  The day went very well ending with a wonderful hug once I brought her back to her car and me going down to my room and jumping into the air with joy.  The weekend was the best and one night I received a text message wondering if I was working or not the next day because she was considering staying one extra day that weekend.  The butterflies in my stomach went crazy realizing that she was planning to stay another day to hang out with me.  I joyously said yes and practically screamed rolling around in my bed sheets at night.
We began to see each other more frequently and the weekends were something I started to really look forward to.  The one weekend on her way home back to Ohio she was pulled over by the police and practically had a panic attack.  Another I was talking to her while my dad spoke with the guy on the phone for comcast trying to fix the cable box in my room and instead of fixing it, just started talking about baseball games.   Soon she was moving back home and would now always be just a few streets away from me.   It was time to make us official and one morning she was over before I had to go to work and we were playing Mario on the wii.  We would laugh at how Luigi sounded when he was in a bubble floating around asking Mario to help him.  After a few levels she put her controller down and laid back on her back on my bed and shut her eyes.  I laid with her and I could feel the feeling inside of me.  The pure adrenaline nervous excited butterfly filled feeling of that moment.  The moment.  She was right there in front of me and my brain began to send loud signals to my body.  Kiss her!  Kiss her!!  It was the moment and I knew it, there was no other feeling in my body.  She wasn't opening her eyes and so with a full body of confidence, I leaned forward and my lips met hers.  The feeling was the equivalent of a night of the loudest most colorful explosion of fireworks.  Our lips kissed with a love and passion that I had never kissed anyone with nor did I know I was even capable of.  There was an electricity that passed through our bodies and emotion took over, rendering any thought process incapable of completing even a single thought.  She smiled and I leaned in again and our lips continued.  Things were starting to get heated but the hours grew too late and I had to get ready to go to work.  I cursed responsibilities and work duties while she composed herself and got ready to leave herself.  We made plans to meet up again soon and would continue to talk while she moved herself down to be closer and at home.  During this time I would stream old Nintendo games online for her to watch and we would sync up our Netflix viewings to watch a couple of movies together as a sort of date away from home date.  The two in particular were Coraline and The Artist.  To say I was on cloud 9 would have been an understatement.  I found out more and more about her and knew exactly how I wanted to ask her out.  I went online to check the stock of the newly released Wii U console.  Us being into the wii mario games and video games in general, I thought us breaking open a brand new console for us to experience together would be special and perfect.  Once it came in the mail and she was all moved back in at home, she came over and we opened it together.  I proclaimed this new console to be not only a new console but a new start to a life with her.  She accepted my proposal to be her boyfriend and we spent the night together gaming. 
Now that she wasn't in Ohio anymore, she was available any time for more hang outs and this would begin the adventure with the love of my life and the start of the best memories.  Fall was coming soon and she had gotten her job back close to home for a bridal store.  With my heart going to levels of love I had never felt before I knew that this season was going to be one of if not the best season I had ever experienced.  I thanked God every night for the gift of this beautiful, short, nerdy, amazing girl, and I began to plan some more fun adventures with her....and happily, so was she.

The story continues in part 3.....

Miss you darling, the plan and path worked.  I love you with all my heart turkey leg.
xoxoxoxoxo love, your edward xoxoxooxxoxoxo
the future is you
always

The Beginnings of a Love True

There are words that I can say a million times over that could never begin to describe the wonder that is you.  You grow up watching movies that show that perfect girl walking into the store or starting a new day at school or the new employee at work and catching your eye.  Going home at night you look up at the stars and talk to God and ask him to send a little help your way or show you a sign that what you're thinking is the right thoughts.  But what you don't realize is that he already did.  A late bloomer watching friends around him partake in love lives that you only go home to watch on TV and movies.  So you pay attention and watch and when the guy gets the girl in the end, you cry.  Not because it is something you want so badly but because it is so beautiful.  They all say to you, life isn't a movie and that's not how life works.  So you continue to go to work and watch the movies thinking you are in a way practicing for that moment when you see the girl walk into the store, start the new day at school, become the new employee.  During this time you try out the waters to see what it's like out there in the seas of romance.  Turns out the waves aren't as smooth as you thought they might be and in the voyage your boat gets some damage on it.  It still floats but you don't take it out as much for fear that it won't stay afloat as well.  While you go to work you retell these stories on the high seas to someone at work that listens with great care to what you are saying.  You are so glad to be able to tell these stories aloud to someone who actually listens that you don't really notice that that person is looking at you as the new employee, the guy that walked into their store, the new kid at her school.  When everything caves in and the journeys are fruitless you see her at work and think, why can't I meet someone like her who is happy to see me and wants to hear my stories.  I wonder what it would be like to be with her.  So with newfound interest you go to work only to discover that she has moved on and doesn't work there anymore.  With a heavy heart and a peace of yourself that you didn't know you had given up, you continue work.  Less energy, less happiness.  But your heart was paying attention and placed a footnote in your life to refer back to in the lucky case you ever run into her again.  Life continues on and a few more voyages out onto the rough waters take place and while some rides provide patches for the boat, more damage is ultimately taken.  So the boy puts the boat away for repairs while he toils away at a new job.  Then one day while he is at the counter he sees a vision walk in and past him.  The beautiful girl says hey how are ya and walks to do her shopping.  His heart pulls up the footnote and sends the message up to his brain where it is reviewed.

It was her.

A million messages are transferred through his body and for a moment he is filled with so much confidence he barely recognizes himself.  Someone that attractive showed real interest in saying hello and asking how he was.  I wonder what she is up to now and how I would even get in touch with her.  Life again steps in and takes the boy for a wild ride.  He takes great care of the boat, not taking it out on the waves very much in order to protect itself.  The job that he has been pursuing doesn't work out and leaves the boy still at the job he isn't crazy to have.  His department is then closed and he is moved to the customer service portion.  With life being confusing and worrisome, one day he works the weekend day afternoon and a normal unhappy day continues.  Suddenly the beauty that his heart kept an eye out for walked into his line and took her place as being next for him to be waited on.  His heart practically skipped a beat.  This was the moment.

The girl who walked into his store.

She walked up to the counter with her mother to buy lottery tickets and gave the sentence that would pave the way to true love for him.

"Hey darlin, how are ya?"

This time he was able to answer, albeit being so nervous it wasn't much but after so many years they were able to speak again.  His heart sent warning signs to his whole body saying there she is, don't let this one go!  The transaction wasn't long and before he knew it she was walking away.  He looked over to watch her go and right before she turned the corner to go she looked over at him and their eyes met.  His knees got all wiggly and he felt the feeling of a million butterflies in his stomach.  This was the girl that he was destined to meet.  He paced back and forth drawing every memory he could to try and remember her name so that he could find her.  Once the name came to him, the cutest name he had ever heard, he raced home after work and began the hunt.  Once he found her he began to chat with her, sending her messages about what he was reading, what he had been up to, and trying to find out what he could about her.  Marilyn Monroe came up along with many talks about various video games that they had played, wanted to play, and she was so excited to find out he had a lot of retro games.  They clicked and hit it off like nobody he had ever experienced.  He felt a happiness that had never entered his body before and his heart sent such signals to him to reach out to her with confidence he had never had before.  He found out that she was living in Ohio and would visit on certain weekends and amazingly only lived a few streets away.  Nobody was around in his room so he began dancing around with such glee like he had discovered a tractor trailer's worth of Christmas presents.  He searched and searched of things he could bring up and share and once he got her phone number it was like hitting the lottery.  He wanted to try and impress her so he took a day to go outside for the afternoon and draw a picture for her and send her picture updates as he went to sort of spend the day with her.  The day was super fun and as she responded to each text, he found more and more drive to finish and create something really great.

They were hitting it off like crazy and he knew he wanted to make the move to the next step before someone else got to her.  So like the cheesy guy that he was, he requested that he be the next one who got to have a date with her whenever she was ready.  It didn't take too long and as their messages got longer, the want to spend a whole day with her grew and grew.  The butterflies in his stomach put up a revolt that if he didn't listen then they were going to cause stomach pains the likes he had never felt.  So, one afternoon he asked her if she would like to come over and see his art and hang out.  She jumped at the idea, wanting to meet and hang out.  The night she was coming over, she needed some direction to come to his house and she called him on the way.  It was their first talking on the phone and he was a bit nervous and gave directions that were so odd and confusing that it was a wonder she even made it over there.  He took her to his room and could barely keep his eyes off of her.  She was beautiful.  Her brown hair was gorgeous, her skin radiant, and the smile that she had on her face brought something about in him that made him look at life in a new way.  She looked around at his room, taking it all in before they moved on to his art.  He made sure to show his best pieces and as he showed her their bodies moved in close to one another.  Their arms kept touching and the electricity pulsed through their bodies.  It wasn't said aloud but they both were barely paying attention to the art but trying to look into the other's eyes without the other one noticing.  They continued to touch skin before moving to the other room where they played a game until it got late enough where she had to go home.  It was the best evening he had ever had.  He had dared take the boat back out onto the high seas and this time he was met with clear skies and the most beautiful sparkling water he had ever seen.  The waves were gentle and the winds calm, he had never had such perfect weather to take his boat out onto.  They hugged and it was in that moment that he knew, this was what every movie was showing him.  This was that girl.  He had been with people before but this felt different in so many ways and most of them he couldn't even put into words.  She was a gift that was sent his way after all of those nights he spent wishing to the stars.  He didn't want the night to end, didn't want to give fate a chance to even consider the possibility of them not meeting again.  Their talks continued and then he lined up a weekend for them to hang out again so he took that chance and scheduled an actual date with her.  He suggested taking her to the zoo and she was so ecstatic for the idea that she told everyone at her office about it.  As the day got closer, the only thing on his mind that he could even think of was seeing her again and spending the day with her.  He was finally in true love.  True love that he would feel only more of to this day for the same beautiful girl.  The zoo date approached, he spent a few hours going over any and every conversation topic he could just to make sure they didn't walk around all day in silence.  Before he knew it the day was there, she drove over and parked on his street and they got in his car ready to start their date day.  His heart was beating so hard he was worried he would have to stop at the hospital on the way.  The first date between him and his true love began and the start to his road to wanting to put a ring on her beautiful finger.

The story continues in part 2........

xoxoxoxo missing you so much beautiful, my heart stays true that my future is with you, you are the highlight of my life, my love is for you....always  xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxxo

All that you are is all I will ever need

Candle in the Dark.............Chapter 10

I sit here feeling the worst I have ever felt in my life.

Sleeping troubles and shaking during most of the night.

I can't apologize for being in love.

I only see a future where it is us, the way we were.

I miss you darlin, miss you so much.

I'm not doing well, not doing well at all.

I'm really worried and not sure what to do.

I can't see a future and I'm frightened.

I will right letters to you 365 days if it means just one falls upon your eyes.

I miss your voice and the way it was able to calm me.

I miss the way you looked at me.

Call me crazy but I believe in my heart and what it is telling me.

I made mistakes that haunt me to this day.

I'm afraid for how bad this hurts.

I have become the jealous man who knows that I made you happy.

I would do anything to go back and change what I had done.

Every day is a dark misery that I don't know how to climb out of.

If this is reaching out then that's what it shall be.

I know I can be better.

There was a girl once who would've given anything to be my forever.

I hurt that and because I was weak and mixed up in blindness I let it slip through my fingers.

But I truly believe that that girl isn't gone.

I never wanted to lose you, never wanted to hurt you.

Never wanted to drive us apart or become divisive.

We share something special that I cannot replace no matter how hard I try.

I'm really worried Megels.

I've never felt this bad and no matter how hard I try I can't feel better.

I love you.

I truly love you.

I would give anything to be near you again.

I pray every night asking for forgiveness for the pain that i have caused.

I would walk any distance to be close to you.

Swim any ocean to get a glimpse of you.

I've never believed in something this much in my life.

Nothing.

I never thought I would ever write this but....help.

I would give my life over and over again to not have messed up like I did.

To have you back here in my arms telling me to not let you go.

To hear your plans on what you wanted us to do.

I'm worried about myself Megels.

I do miss you like crazy, it hurts the most because I'm the cause of losing you.

All day every day I think of our apartment and our weekends together.

He may be great but it isn't us.

I would kill for our nights on the couch again.

Our laughing in bed before cuddling up to sleep again.

Shopping with you and cooking with you

Gaming with you and surprising you.

The amount of memories we have together is a treasure I hold so close to my heart.

I'm sorry I bring up your letter so much but it truly is all that's kept me going.

What you wrote in there I will never believe disappeared.

I miss our talks.

I miss seeing your name pop up on my phone.

I miss you being excited to see how my projects were going.

I miss our special places.

The places me and you share in our hearts.

I write every day because I love you and I believe in it.

If it's crazy or stupid then that's on me but it's something I truly believe in .

You are irreplaceable.

God doesn't make people like you, not anymore.

The same sentence just keeps repeating in my head.

That door will never close and I'm always hoping you choose the future with us.

These posts and words are my fight for you.

If it ends up killing me in the end then it'll still be worth it no matter how long it goes.

There's just one person out there for me.

The girl who reached out to me after a long time apart and moving on before.

The guy who is doing the same now.

You are the love of my life and my best friend.

I know exactly how you felt when I tried moving on with someone.

Little did I know it was the beginning of something so toxic it would blind me and destroy me.

Just like me, our memories still float through your head, reminders all over.

If I have ever needed you most, now would be that time.

I wish so badly I could see the video you made.

Love is crazy

Love is mad

We get one run through in this life.

One ride on this coaster.

I want it to be with you.

My choice is to send these love letters and videos off every day.

I believe it in my heart that hope will never be lost.

The memories and places and moments we share I wouldn't trade for the world

I miss you so much.

I will stand in that doorway for the rest of my life.

For something so special and important in my heart, the risk will always be worth the price.

Hearing your voice and talking to you before bed.

Hearing how you were practicing to be a voice in my movie.

The sound of your voice when I called you that day after not speaking for months.

That sound.

I'm not perfect.

But when you look at me, I feel like I am.

These letters go out to the woman I love.

Not in anger nor trouble.

But because I believe in true love.

I always have.

Life continued to bring us together for a reason.

Even if my letters fall on deaf ears I will never stop writing.

If I have to suffer this badly to make up for the pain I've caused then I will take it all.

Because a one in a trillion chance will always be worth it if it is you.

Love is Key

The Universe Where My Heart Lives........with Chapter 9

Late at night dreams fill my mind on waves of love and full of you.  The world is full of happenstance and serendipity and each one coalescing into a particular universe that brings me to you.  There is a reason you are who I think about all day and who I breathe better when you enter my thoughts.  I know in my heart that the funnest fun that there is to be had is between us.  Each day feeling like I'm living in the wrong world.  Because I don't belong in a world where we don't end up together.  The universe where I'm with you and you are with me, that's the one where my heart lives.  I love the way we fit together in such a way that it seemed like we were actually made for the other person up in Heaven before God let us down to Earth to run around.  I love the series of events that had to transpire to all fit together and lead up in such a way that we ran into each other that afternoon at the grocery store.  I love how strong of a connection I formed with you and how much it made me feel for you.  I love that no matter what happened, we share a bond that pulled us back towards one another when the dust cleared.  I love that you still wore the heart necklace, still checked my posts, and still hoped every night that events would line up so that you could be in my arms again.  I love the way you were proud to hear me call you Megels.  I love that time apart drew a stronger pull on our hearts to where you wrote a letter that continues to be my roadmap to your heart and more.  I love the way you can always have that one strand of hair that falls perfectly on your cheek and you don't even pay any attention to it.  I love that I can make a video of me reading something to you and it makes my whole day.  I love that knowing you goes down as easily the best thing that has ever happened to me.  If I owned a restaurant you'd be my special and I'd never let anyone order it so I could keep you all to myself.  I love that you give me faith in an online art store business and want to be there when it blows up.  I love that you want to hang my art up still.  I love that you were strong enough to finish college and get a master's degree while doing jobs you hated but doing them better than anyone I've ever known.  I love our story.  The beginning and every chapter that continues to be written until the happily ever after.  Part Two.  I love your compassion and heart towards anyone in need.  I love the way you love and the feeling you have with me that you can be your true self.  I love the things you say in jest like 'ouch my balls hurt', 'did you just poop yourself', 'hot mess', 'bugaboo'.  I love most of all the way you make me feel and the way I make you feel.  Nobody has the power to make me feel like the impossible is possible, like any dream or ambition I have is something I can achieve with great success.  Like I am a man with a creative, artistic future who would be the funnest, kindest, pure hearted husband and the greatest father.  Nobody has ever made me feel like I mattered like you.  I love how you chose me to move with you, saw a future married to me, and even after the sheer amount of dumb ass-ery....still sees a future with me.  I love that you said you will always love me no matter what and you still hope that the cards fall so that it is us together in the end.  I love that you are you and that you are a part of this world.  The universe where my heart lives, the one with you and I running to the Terminator ride, teaming up in video games, and creating the nerdy business of our successes....that's the universe my heart will always be waiting for you.  I love you.  I love you more than there are stars lighting up the night skies.  I miss you darlin dew drop.  You can't spell universe without U and I.  The sweetest of dreams and kisses I send to you darlin.  My heart beats for one over the sound waves of the world, may your ears on that beautiful face of yours pick up the frequency and sooth your heart.

Love, Your Edward

xoxoxoxoxoxoxmissingyoudewdroploveyousomuchxoxoxoxxoxo

Evening Meet Up.....with Chapter 8

Edward looked out over the city from the windows of his apartment.

The city lights were dotted along the skyline like stars fallen from the sky.

In his hand was a cool drink, his other hand in his pocket.

The night was warm but you wouldn't know it from inside.

Earlier that day he had met a girl at the grocery store.

She was short, brown hair, and greeted him with a hey darlin that shook him to his bones.

There was something about that girl that had given him a feeling in his stomach.

A feeling that he hadn't felt since he was a little boy.

Back then he called them butterflies and knew when he felt them that something special was around.

She was beautiful, the sound of her voice was like music to his ears.

Looking out the window at all the cars going up and down the many roads he took a sip of his drink.

The cars looked like blood vessels pumping blood through the city's nervous system.

He had found her online and began a conversation with her in hopes that they could meet soon.

To his surprise, she was more than amazing, sharing lots of common interests.

They would talk for hours and send messages to and fro, each time he got more excited.

Tonight was the night he had finally been able to schedule a meeting with her.

He looked out upon the horizon, she was out there somewhere on her way over.

The apartment was cleaned and tidied up to make sure he gave the best impression.

Her name kept swimming through his thoughts making him all tingly.

He repeated it out loud, even molding it into a nickname already that gave him a giggle.

The name Megels was the first thing that came to mind.

Finishing his drink he brought it back to the kitchen and set it in the sink.

He looked at himself in the mirror for a final check to make sure he looked his best.

Once he was satisfied with himself he walked back into the main living room to wait.

A few moments passed before he heard the knocking on his door.

Taking a deep breath he got up and made his way to the door, opening it to find her standing there.

To say she was beautiful would be an under statement of the year.

She was a vision of heaven, standing in his doorway with a smile on her face.

The way she smiled was unique, it made her nose crinkle a little like they both shared a secret.

He invited her in and gave her a hug right away, feeling her body up against his.

She was warm and it felt like he had just found something he had lost many years ago.

Her hair smelled of fruity shampoo and he could have sworn he was floating off of his feet.

He stumbled over a few of his words due to the vision in front of him.

She sat down and he brought her a drink and they began to talk.

An hour later he was showing her the art that he had been up to and their arms began to touch.

Lightning crackled between them and while he was talking, she was staring.

They both were not in the conversation and both were falling for one another in their minds.

She gave a little more of a rub, hoping he was getting the reaction and then they toured the rooms.

While they talked they realized just how much they had in common with one another.

It was obvious in the air that these two were falling for one another.

They both stood at the windows looking out over the city together.

He reached over and let his fingers walk over to hers until their hands were joined.

Their bodies moved closer and she set her head on his shoulder, both watching the night sky.

I knew it was you the first time I saw you.

I never had my heart feel this way before.

He leaned in and she met him halfway as both of their lips met in a kiss.

She was the one, he had felt happiness before but not like this.

They continued kissing, their hands exploring the other's bodies.

She ran her hands down his front to feel him become rock hard.

Her own emotions running high making her wet as well.

He put his hands on her shoulders and down to her breasts, squeezing them gently.

She was becoming very hot and turned on like crazy.

Pulling away she teased his mouth with a finger and walked to grab her purse.

Leaving so soon?

I think I'm falling for you Edward.

I've already fallen for you Megels.

Then let's save this for later, give you something to look forward to.

Her tease worked and he had the biggest smile on his face.

She walked to the door and before she exited blew him a kiss.

I love you Edward.

I love you more Megels.

He watched her leave and once the door shut he jumped for joy.

She was the one, the perfect angel.

He resumed looking out the window at the city knowing she was out there.

Knowing, she was coming back into his arms.

Knowing he loved her.

I miss you so much darlin

Sweetest of dreams to you my love

Love, Your Edward

xoxoxoxoxmissyouloveyouwanttobenearyouxoxoxoxoxxoo

The Girl with the Dark Brown Hair.....with Chapter 7

The girl with the dark brown hair.

Who I met while working when she came in for lottery with her mom.

You stole my heart that day and it has since been yours.

I searched you out and hoped to see you again.

Little did I know I would get that wish not soon afterwards.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

Who lived in Ohio when I found you and spoke through messages.

We share so many interests and you're excitement for games.

Yoshi's Island was suggested to me with Luigi's Mansion soon after.

You were my player 2 that I had just found with glee.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

We met up again this time at my place.

I showed you my art and we rubbed elbows, the electricity building.

You smiled at me in a way nobody else had ever smiled.

Within a few minutes I knew that I had found my one out of the millions.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

You stayed and we played Mario and watched Star Wars together.

I hated when you left and you stayed another day just to see me again.

We went to the zoo and had the best date I've ever had.

Being near you was a wish I never thought would ever be granted.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

I asked you to be mine and you accepted my request.

I never told you but I danced that night alone in the happiest way I could.

Our first kiss was in my bed during a game of Mario before work.

The taste of your lips is a feeling I never want to let go of.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

The weeks after provided more memories than I could ever count.

Introductions to Supernatural, Big Bang, and carving pumpkins together.

Decorating a small Christmas tree and making love from the floor to the bed.

Hearing you say I love you was the best day of my life.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

I gave you the nickname of Megels and never ever gave it up.

The ups and downs came but our chain was too strong to be broken.

We were meant to be together and always found a way to be together no matter what.

Being apart from you was a nightmare I never wanted to relive.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

We survived working at the Limited and your trip to Mexico for a wedding.

We watched the scariest of movies and took pictures at comic cons.

We slept in each other's beds and celebrated a number of holidays.

You being the best thing to ever happen to me, a true gift from above.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

My heart was destroyed when I had to see you go.

Our hearts formed an unbreakable bond and soon you were back around to my delight.

We watched the Lego movie and made the decision to move south.

It was a big risk but I took it knowing you would be there by my side.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

Our new place was ours and we made it unique.

I would give anything to be there again, us in our place to start again.

You held me while you slept like a spider monkey holding on for dear life.

While the dog laid under the covers licking our toes before sleep.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

We shared our place and it became stressful, I handled it badly for that I am sorry.

Be it now I would have handled it way better and made sure you were happy.

You are my darlin dew drop and nothing can take that away from me.

I wasn't strong and made a bad decision, away from you I went broken.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

Home I went to a world without you, my heart in pieces of my own doing.

Not a day went by when I didn't think of you or want to be back with you.

We both tried to move on but it wasn't the same, it wasn't you.

I made a choice that I regret to this day, my life was about to enter a nightmare.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

The next few years were a dark awful miserable time that I couldn't get out of.

Convinced I had no confidence and under control of someone else.

I continued to make bad choices too afraid of consequences.

I reached and hoped that one day I would be yours again.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

The chance I had been hoping for finally came and my fear and wrecked nature lost it all.

I wasn't strong and brainwashed into thinking I was worthless.

I had what I wanted right in front of me and it slipped through my fingers.

Then you were gone and I was in a worse spot, the days only got worse.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

Every night I pray that you hear me or see my writings.

Finally out of what seemed like an addiction to a bad drug, unable to get out of.

Now that it is over I sit every night and wish upon those same stars.

The stars I wished on so many years ago to bring you to me.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

We are perfectly made together I know this in my heart.

Nobody fits better and shares so much.

I know I have done wrong and will spend the rest of my life making up for it.

If only for that one chance to be yours and make us whole again.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

I love you true like the fairy tales write about.

A prince on a quest to find his princess and fight off all ogres and monsters.

May the princess be with a chubby hairy thing that looks like her father.

Or be she waiting for the steed to arrive, hoping and wishing our time was again.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

I am here in your doorway that you would never close.

My hand reaching out praying you take it again.

You are my darling dew drop Megels always and forever.

I believe we are meant to be and want no other to share the rest of my life with.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

Whatever it takes to reclaim that lightning that we felt again.

I atone for my sins and know that my heart is true and for you.

Not a day goes by where I don't wish I was with you.

No distance to far to move, no time too late to ask for your hand.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

Hoping you read these every night I type away.

Love poems, flowers, videos, and more to your heart I send.

There is only one girl who makes me the luckiest man alive.

The girl who wrote the letter that sits in my hand and the vows said in a twitch convo.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

You are smart beyond words and more beautiful than any creature God created.

A humorous nerd with an affinity for video games, movies, Harry Potter, and more.

When I think of you it feels like a weight has been taken off of my chest.

I am yours Megels, we can be what we were meant to be better than ever before.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

I miss you more and more each day that goes by.

I love you with every single beat of my heart until the day I die.

Deep down in your heart I believe you wish it was us again too.

I ask you to be mine again, I will never let you down again.

The girl with the dark brown hair.

I love the girl who goes to comic cons instead of concerts.

I love the girl who sings in the car as loud as she can.

I love the girl who can kick my butt in Mario Kart.

I love the girl could watch me draw for hours.

I love the girl who can be her real self with me.

I love you Megels

I miss you

The girl with the dark brown hair.

Love, Your Edward

xoxoxoxoxoloveyoumissyoudewdropprayingyouarereadingoxxoxoxoxoxo