Have I Told You Lately That I Love You

When I lay awake at night it is you that I think about
The sounds of my breathing and the cars driving by outside the only sounds I hear
I think about all the time and experiences we have shared
The ups and the downs and our vows to always be there for the other
Difficult not to fall asleep with tears running down the sides of my face
How I wish it was still us in our apartment sharing laughs and love again
Writing to you every single day when you may not care to still read
Your voice echoing in my head of the sayings that have kept me going day after day
You would always love me and we could achieve everything we both wanted together
Your letter burning a hole in my pocket as I read it every day
Am I truly doomed for the bad choices that I have made in the past
Would you have been relieved if I wouldn't have left that one afternoon
Why did you let me leave at all and not talk it out
I've never had someone love me as much as you have
I remember when you sent me the picture of Cher playing on your car radio
How you teared up when I brought you flowers home
The smile on your face as we talked on the phone every night
I don't want this nightmare to continue any longer
You made sure we talked without anger last and said you were just going to focus on you alone
I miss those nights where I would text you what our future was going to be
Where we would travel and where we would go
The ways I would kiss you and when we would start our own family
You said it would kill you if I were to live a shell of a life
That you always hoped it was me in the end
That we had everything in common and all the same interests
So I wait and I wait even if I can't see the light any longer
Because you are the light and always shined ahead
Was I too boring or not have enough money
Did I really ruin it that badly that everything you said in our twitch chats was erased
Is it really better than us?
I lay here and think of these things every night as I fall deeper into the darkness
Where is my beautiful nerd to share in new adventures together
I miss you so very much that every night is a struggle without you
I love you dew drop
You are my Megels, just as I am your Edward
Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxo