Darkness is Winning

Another of the more bad nights that I have been having.  This one being particularly bad.
It hurts to feel such pain that I have caused so many
Sleep keeps alluding me
The depression has become an enemy I am not equipped to defeat
I've cried more than anyone should in their lifetime
If this is karma for what I have done
Trust me, I have learned my lesson
The saddness that drives my days is overwhelming
It's so hard to focus
Last night left me shaking
All I want to do is go home and cover in blankets
Be away from the world and never come out
It is becoming a struggle to get to work
A nightmare to get through it
I miss the feel of your touch
The warmth of your embrace
I never felt vulnerable or weak
This is becoming the lowest for me
It is so hard to handle and overcome
I think about you a lot
More than anything
Every day is so tough and soul crushing
What I would give for one of our days together
I've never been worried about  myself like this
I hate it
It's scary
Depression is a tough beast to combat
Being without you here to hear your voice
Making you laugh
My health is suffering and I have to keep watch
I miss being happy
I miss that true smile
I miss the feeling of our hearts beating as one
I want to get through this
I can't feel this pain and sadness anymore
The only thing keeping me going
Is that hope
I just want to go home
Missing you

Always

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo