Each drop of rain falls into the puddles outside of my window. The rain has lasted over a day now and as the temperature cools itself down with all of the liquid relief, there is one person on my mind. There is a girl that I tell people who is the very definition of what I think of when I think of my soul mate. She is a shorty but a cutie and stole my heart the moment I told her my first story when I worked at my first job. Her silky brunette hair whisping by with every turn of her head and falling just over her eyes in such a way that made all the butterflies in my stomach bounce about in the most energetic of ways. Her brown eyes were the windows that I did whatever I could to look into to see a multitude of visions. A future with a bride I was ecstatic to see every day and build a life with that everyone we knew were jealous of. We connect on so many levels from the beginning about a Marilyn Monroe book to our younger days of gaming and Star Wars. Her skin is the smoothest porcelain that puts love into a physical feeling anytime my fingers felt their way across her cheek. Most people would call a rainy day the opposite of good or a time that was somehow miserable. I always saw them as a relaxing hypnotic sound. Hearing all of the drops hitting the various surfaces, it lets your mind focus on something constant and soothes it. While I can't say that a rainy day ever made me feel miserable, I can say that any day without you is miserable. I want to make up mistakes and share in our laughs and fun adventures. Develop my career and branch out in ways I never took the leap to do before. Climbing up the chain with you at my side and creating something that is truly unique. Happiness has eluded me and the last time I truly felt it was when I was able to hold you in my arms. I miss smiling. I miss you being the reason why. I would continue to describe this beautiful other half of mine who wears nerdy shirts like a chewbacca or Zelda hey listen design. The woman who shows off her Marvel Comics shoes and delivers gaming news to me that she came across on her phone. I can't help but shed a tear because this month is the month of my birthday and it will be yet another miserable day without you. I don't want gifts or dinners or cards....I want the one thing that makes me feel like I can conquer anything I put my mind to. The one thing that gives my life so much purpose I'm practically glowing on the outside. I want you. I don't care what it takes or how it's done. As long as the end result is you. I will write until my fingers bleed and fall off because once they are linked up with yours they will be healed of all wounds. Tonight is cold due to the weather and there is nothing that would warm my heart more both metaphorically and literally would be to have you joined up against me under the sheets. The best birthdays I've had were with a beautiful girl named Megels. Ever since those I haven't even celebrated let alone had one where I wasn't left crying or feeling bad for myself. I hate how I let myself fall into a situation that destroyed everything I had built for myself. I hate how I wasn't strong enough to jump ship to rescue what was left of myself. I hate myself for hurting you. I hate myself for leaving you. My dreams tonight will be filled with you. Filled with the thoughts of taking that trip down to see you for that weekend I owe you. Seeing your gorgeous face in front of me again and holding you. Making you smile and hearing your voice as we share everything together. Getting a hotel close to Universal again and making love the way you would tell everyone was the best you've ever had. Spending the weekend holding hands and riding all the rides and then at the end of the day walking past the small lake at the park like we used to. The nights at the hotel having you latched on to me in bed and waking up to seeing your face. Then just before I go I put it all on the line and ask you if you'll be mine again. This time nothing short of God himself will rip me away from you. I want to give you the happiest ever after. Like we used to plan. The one that makes me smile through all the hell I've gotten myself into. The one where my heart sings to yours every night.
I love you darlin dew drop.
I dream of you tonight, the one thing that makes me the happiest.
Fingers will stay crossed I will be lucky enough to be the one who makes you smile again.
My heart is forever yours no matter what is thrown at it.
Always.
Love, Your Edward
oxoxoxoxxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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