Sleep is Best with Filled with You

Sleep is difficult, sleep doesn't know
Sleep comes for you at the end of the night and tries to woo you with its charms
Giving in is supposed to recharge you and fill up your batteries
Waking in the morning feeling refreshed and ready to start a new day
The bed feels bigger and more empty than it ever was
Reaching my arm over I feel nothing but open space
I don't feel you
Tossing and turning through the night unable to find that perfect spot of slumber
The sheets trying their best to hold you in position
To warm you when you need it most
The feeling of you holding on to me in the night is missing
The feeling of complete midnight bliss
When I do let the night take me into its arms, I dream
Dreams happen just about every night and each one a little different than the last
In one I am looking for you in a large department store
No matter what aisle I go down, you aren't there but I continue looking
In another there is a big dinner party being started and everyone is beginning to sit down
I say that we cannot start, not yet, not without you
The seat in across from me is empty and I know that is where you belong
I don't want them to start the feast when you aren't there
I worry and begin my search through the home to find you
A third is at a home I don't recognize and you come in to find me sitting on the bed
I apologize for everything, all of it, every moment of pain
We talk it out and by the end of it you have your head in my lap again
My hands playfully gliding through every strand of your hair
I can feel the connection, that lightning in a bottle that I felt only with you
Even in my sleep I can feel it running through my body
Dream or not I can't tell and don't care, you are there
We lean into one another and our lips meet, it feels so real
If I could see it I wouldn't be surprised if I had a smile on my face during my rest
I wake in the middle of the night to the darkness and silence of reality
I reach over to pull you close trying to make dreams come true
But you aren't there
Quickly my mind is filled with the memories and feelings of being with you
Being in our place under the black and white polka dotted sheets
My art hangs above us overlooking us like silent watchmen in the night
The window behind carries the soft patter of the waterspout in the lake
Small sounds of snoring from the dog can be heard as he sleeps underneath by our feet
I feel happy, like I'm where I should be
I move my arm and place it on my chest, only I can't reach my chest
Your body is latched on to mine with an arm across me, holding on
My arm lands on your body, the warmth is comforting
Our chests go up and down in unison and I can smell your soft hair just under my nose
That moment was when reality was better than dreams
Nothing I could ever dream of in that night could top what was actually in my arms
Days are filled with grey with dreams unable to provide any relief
Not without you
I sit up in the middle of the night in the darkness, in the silence
The shadows play with my weary eyes making me think maybe you just got up to get water
I leave some room and extra blankets so that you have it when you return
The rest of the night is a blur with dreams having me think of you
Morning brings no feeling of rest or relief
Not without you
The day goes by with no memorable moments and everything pushing to get to sleep once again
To close my eyes and enter a world where you are there
I reach my arm over to hold you but you aren't there
The pillows do their best to take your place, but they aren't real
I slumber best when I think of a memory of you
Your beautiful smile
The way you would say goodnight
The words Megels on my lips as I drift away to dreamland
The best sleep I ever get is when you are involved
The angel to my nightmares
I miss you dew drop
My heart beats with the biggest dreams imaginable and all are love for you
Always.

Love, Your Edward
xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxo